Dear Karma Cleanser:
I am not sure which category this may fall under, because I guess it is a little bad and a little good. At a Halloween party, I found myself making out in the bathroom with someone else's boyfriend. Bad, I know. But the girlfriend wasn't there (not so bad) and she's been going around with her ex-boyfriend for many moons now (shame on her) and hasn't tried to hide it from him.
My dilemma is this: I am pretty sure that I would not have allowed things to progress that far if I had been sober. One of the first things that I liked about him (as a friend) was that he is so easy to be around, and now I am afraid I have messed that up.
My girlfriends are glad that something good seems to be on the horizon for him and say he would be a great match for me. But I think that the sober thing would have been to wait until he and his girlfriend had reached the end of their road, if that is truly where they are going.
-- Half and half
You're rationalizing your actions with a little relationship relativism. "Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so," your inner Hamlet seems to say, which is how you can shrug off your "bad" Halloween incident with the potential "good" of this guy dumping his slutty girlfriend and getting with you. Give it a rest. Recuse yourself from the situation. Wait to see how their situation plays out before inserting yourself back into the equation. Listen to Hamlet and choose the path of inaction -- for now.
Been bad? firstname.lastname@example.org.