Baton Bob: It's sweet. All of us have the capacity, but a lot of us choose not to go there. But I say bring it on. Santa Claus is about peace, love and giving. That's what the spirit of Santa Claus is, and if you're not of that spirit, you are out of the box. I have Santa's spirit, though it's unconventional of what others have been taught all their lives.
Lane: I got my pants full of holiday cheer. I was arrested. Indecent exposure. I was indecently exposed by a mischievous elf. The elf depanted Santa in front of a lot of people. So the police picked Santa up. But they let me out. The cop told me that if I depanted again, I would go to jail. I assured him I will not be depanted again.
Han: I'm Hanukklaus. I am not Santa Claus until the 24th. It's a good job, though. It's important [that Hanukkah and Christmas] run concurrently this year. It's unifying. Since Christmas is on a Sunday, I spoke to my rabbi and we're making an exception this year, so I'll do my regular rounds. My Hasidic curls were crafted when I was a young boy so I never cut them off. The beard came later. It's the miracle of Christmas and Hanukkah.