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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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PLEASED TO MEAT YOU: At a grocery store on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, an employee said a man put several sausages in his handbag. Police searched the 57-year-old man and allegedly found 11 smoked sausages (worth $40). He was arrested for shoplifting.

Also, at a grocery store on Metropolitan Parkway, the manager said a man dressed entirely in black put several packages of sliced ham into his bag and tried to leave the store. Police allegedly found $13 worth of Carolina ham in his bag. He was arrested for shoplifting.

BAD PLACE TO PASS OUT: Around 6 a.m., police got a call about an intoxicated man passed out in his car, in front of a fire station on Elliot Street. Members of the Atlanta Fire Rescue Department said the driver was slumped over the steering wheel and nonresponsive. "The vehicle was in gear and [his] foot was on the brake pedal," the reporting officer wrote. So the fire department staff removed the driver from his car. The officer asked if everything was OK. "I don't know, where am I?" asked the driver, a 26-year-old Decatur man. He admitted that he had been drinking. The officer asked what did he have to drink? The man reportedly said he had some Henny, Crown Royal and Remy Martin. He was arrested for DUI.

CASH CRASH: A 24-year-old male employee reportedly admitted to stealing money on the job, at a cash-handling business on Marietta Street. Police read the employee his Miranda rights, and he agreed to talk to an investigator. He said a man called "Slim Thug" talked to him about stealing money from their job. The 24-year-old employee said at first, he refused to participate, but a few days later, Slim Thug said he had the whole thing "mapped out" so he agreed to do it. Around 7:30 a.m., Slim Thug reportedly set aside some bags of money for the 24-year-old employee's route that day. The employee said when he made a delivery at a Party City in Gainesville, he also put several bags of money inside a trashcan at that location. He left the money there and continued on his route. The 24-year-old employee said when he returned to the office, his boss confronted him with videotape of him and Slim Thug exchanging bags of money. After seeing the video, he decided to talk. Also, he took his boss to the trashcans outside Party City, where the moneybags were. All the money ($65,000) was recovered, according to the police report.

TROUBLE AT THE GOLDEN ARCHES, PART 1: A patient with an IV bag reportedly walked out of Grady Memorial Hospital, headed for a McDonald's. The 30-year-old woman reportedly got money from a fellow patient to get food from McDonald's -- but she never returned to the hospital.

TROUBLE AT THE GOLDEN ARCHES, PART II: An officer responded to a call about a man refusing to leave a McDonald's in Midtown. According to the police report, the 52-year-old man cursed loudly in front of small children, aggressively waved his arms and said he had bought two hamburgers. The man was slurring and his eyes were bloodshot and glassy, the officer noted. He was arrested for disorderly conduct.

WIGGED OUT: An officer responded to a call about a woman beating another woman with a brick on Broad Street. A 44-year-old woman said the other woman had borrowed a wig from her. She said she asked for the wig back, and the other woman got mad and yelled at her. She said the other woman grabbed a brick from a sidewalk and hit her once in the forehead and once on the cheek and lip. She had a slight mark on her face, but nothing major, the reporting officer wrote.

The other woman, age 35, acknowledged that she had the wig. "Here, take this wig and we will forget this," she told police. She appeared to be under the influence of alcohol, the officer noted. The woman allegedly gave police a false name and date of birth. "I can't go down like this, I just got out of jail for aggravated assault," she said. Back to jail she went – on an aggravated assault charge. The 44-year-old woman got her wig back.

ADVENTURES OF A SCHOOL LAPTOP: A 52-year-old man said after work, he went to a gas station on Honeysuckle Lane and ran into a guy selling a laptop computer. The 52-year-old man said he bought the computer for $150 from the stranger but when he got home, he realized he didn't have a password for the computer. He said he decided to call police after noticing that the computer belonged to Atlanta City Schools. Police checked the computer -- it hadn't been reported stolen. Police contacted a detective with Atlanta City Schools -- and the detective agreed to come to the police precinct to get the laptop.

DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH: A 64-year-old woman said she left her house on Blackland Court around 10 a.m., while workers were working on her floor. She said when she returned, four diamond rings (worth $75,000) were missing from a bathroom drawer. A police officer arrived and talked to the workers -- no one admitted to taking the rings. So the police officer left. Later that day, the 64-year-old woman called police again. She said she found three diamond rings wrapped in a towel and hidden in the ivy in her back yard. Also, the workers' manager said his stepson got a call from one worker, saying that one of them hid the diamond rings there and planned to come back later and get them, but he didn't know which worker made the phone call. The woman said one diamond ring (worth $15,000) is still missing.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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