ROUGH NIGHT IN EAV: A 21-year-old man said he went out with friends to a lounge in East Atlanta on a Friday night. "[He] stated he woke up this morning with his clothes off, on Moreland Avenue," an officer wrote. The man said he found his clothes down the street but his wallet and cell phone were missing from his pants. "[He] could not provide any information about how he lost his clothes, wallet and cell phone," the officer wrote. "He stated he must have had too much to drink last night."
GOING COMMANDO: A woman chatted with two undercover officers at Hollywood Road and Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. She allegedly offered to perform oral sex on both officers for $20 each. They gave her $40, "which she put in what appeared to be her underpants," an officer wrote. The woman, age 57, was arrested for soliciting a sex act. But police didn't get their money back. An officer wrote: "The [woman] was not wearing underpants and the $40 was not recovered."
PERSPIRING TIMES: An undercover officer talked to a woman on Metropolitan Parkway. "[She] said she was looking for some fun," the officer wrote. "I asked what can I get and [she] said, 'I am a little sweaty, but I can give you head for $15.'" The woman, age 63, was arrested for soliciting sex.
TRICKY DICK: An undercover officer said a woman hopped into his car at Cleveland Avenue and Third Street. She asked whether he was a police officer. She reportedly said: "Pull your dick out, because no police will do that!" The officer wrote: "I told [her] the last time I did that, I got into an accident, and she dropped the subject." She allegedly offered oral sex for $20. The woman, age 42, was arrested for soliciting sex.
CRAZY PEOPLE CALL POLICE PART I: A 33-year-old woman called police to her apartment complex on Stone Road. She said the property manager wasn't doing what she asked him to do, and when she confronted him in the office, he pushed her out by hitting her with the door. An officer asked if she was hurt. "No," she said. So the officer talked to the property manager. He said the woman has visited his office to talk about issues with her apartment for about five days. He said the woman gets violent and irate if she isn't helped immediately. On this day, he said, the woman started talking about a list of things she wants fixed at her apartment. He said he told her those items aren't top priority -- and she cussed him out and threatened him. He said he opened the door, she left, and he closed and locked the door once she was on the other side. He said she opened up the mail slot on the door and yelled "sissy," "punk" and "faggot" and "What's wrong with you? You don't like pussy?" Then, she allegedly mooned him. He said all this happened because getting her window lock fixed isn't a top priority. A witness corroborated his story. The woman was arrested for disorderly conduct.
CRAZY PEOPLE CALL POLICE, PART II: Around 4 a.m., an officer talked to a man who said he was robbed. He said he was near the Five Points MARTA Station when he picked up a stranger and offered to give him a ride home for $8. He said he drove the stranger to an apartment on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, and to a McDonald's, and then to another apartment. Then, he said the stranger pulled out a gun and demanded his cell phone and money. The man said he gave the stranger about $58.
"[The man] said he called police later because he wanted to be a good Samaritan and did not want this incident to happen to anyone else," an officer wrote. "[He] said he did not care about his money." The officer asked why the man picked up a stranger. The man said he does it all the time. The officer asked if he ever asked for the stranger's name. No, the man said.
The officer asked, "What were you doing downtown picking up strangers at three-something in the morning?" The man said he does it to make extra money to get back home to Augusta. Also, the man said he was 100 percent positive that he would see the stranger again.
Things got weirder: The man said he has been arrested about 50 times and he was on probation for five aggravated assault charges. The man said he wanted a police report in case he saw the stranger again and ran over him with his car. The officer told him not try to run over the stranger.
SOME GUYS MIGHT LIKE THIS: An officer responded to a call about someone tampering with a mailbox on County Line Road. A 48-year-old man said he found "an old magazine full of women in bikini swimwear and lingerie inside his mailbox," the officer wrote. "He wasn't sure what to do ... so he called police."
The officer noted: "The magazine had no cover or back page, and no name or address ... and no store designation." The man said the mailman delivers his mail after 5:30 p.m. -- and the magazine was in his mailbox at 4 p.m. The officer told him to give the magazine to the U.S. Postal Service for investigation.
Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.