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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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Wild thang: Around 1 p.m. at a bookstore on Peachtree Street, an employee said a man was acting disorderly by bumping into customers. According to the police report, "[The employee] said the man was throwing his hands out toward customers while in the act of pretending to be a wild animal with claws and made noises such as 'raaw.'" Apparently, he also said "fuck you" in front of customers. The officer noted "a high odor of alcohol coming from his mouth, and he had slurred speech. [His] clothing was drenched with alcohol. He was not able to stand upright for a long period." The man, age 34, went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

Sweet talk don't always work: Around 8 a.m., an officer was checking random vehicle tag numbers on Church Street. Turns out there was no valid insurance on the 1967 Chevy pickup truck traveling in front of him. Eventually, the officer stopped the truck and spoke with the male driver -- who also owns the car. He didn't have proof of insurance. The officer said the man's car would be towed, and he should call someone to pick him up.

A few minutes passed. "A lady arrived to the scene identifying herself as a Supervisor for Fulton County 911 Radio Dispatch and asked me did I have to tow the vehicle, at which point I advised her, yes I do," the officer wrote. "The lady then stated, 'No you don't' and once again I advised her: Yes, I do. The lady then advised that she was [the driver's] girlfriend and then asked me if I would do her a favor and let [him] drive the vehicle back to his house, which was a short distance away." "No," the officer replied. "The lady then stated to me, 'Look, officer, I just got out of the shower and I was waiting on him to come to my house so that, you know, we could get our groove on, but now that you're towing his truck, he'll probably be worried and won't be able to get it up." The officer said: "Excuse me, what?" Both the lady and the officer started laughing. "The lady stated, "See u laughing, u think this is funny," the officer wrote. The officer said he was laughing at her comment, not at the truck being towed. The officer wrote, "The lady then stated, 'Oooh, u sexy too!" The officer said he kept doing his paperwork and ignored her. The woman asked for the officer's supervisor. Still, her boyfriend's car was towed.

Bad dream: At a strip club on Forsyth Street, an officer responded to a spat around 3 a.m. A 27-year-old dancer said she and another dancer named "Dream" argued about money -- and they had both been drinking. "[The dancer] said she bent over to pick up her clothes and when she turned around, Dream hit her in the head with the heel of her shoe," the officer wrote. The 27-year-old dancer had a cut and a small knot near her left eye. The officer explained how she could take out a warrant on Dream. (No real name for Dream in the police report.)

Paging Ms. High Strung: An officer got a call about an irate passenger at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. According to an AirTran supervisor, a female passenger walked behind an AirTran ticket desk, pushed all the paperwork onto the floor, picked up a stapler and tossed it toward some gate agents. Apparently, the female passenger got on the AirTran paging system and announced that she "needed to get on [her] fucking plane." The passenger was in a "highly agitated state," the officer observed. "I had to physically restrain [her] to remove her from the boarding area," the officer noted. Once they got to the airport police precinct, the officer removed the handcuffs. Then, the passenger allegedly spit her gum toward the officer's face. "In an attempt to block her spitting, I struck my right hand out, causing me to inadvertently strike [the passenger] in the face," the officer wrote. It took three officers to get the handcuffs back on her. The passenger, a 23-year-old woman from Mattapan, Mass., was charged with disorderly conduct. She didn't have any visible injuries, and she refused medical treatment, police noted.

Once, twice, three times a suspect: At a hotel in Atlanta, the chief security guard said a young man ordered food from the lounge one evening -- and later refused to pay for his meal. According to the police report, the guard "indicated the staff was scared of the accused and decided not to press charges," but the man got a trespassing warning not to return to the hotel. (The suspect is a 21-year-old man from Newark, N.J.) The guard said the suspect returned again about an hour later -- and got another trespassing warning. The guard said the suspect returned again three days later, went to the lounge and tried to order food. The staff recognized the man -- only he now had shorter hair. Apparently, the staff gave him his previous bill and asked him to pay up before they would serve him. The suspect allegedly refused to pay and wrote in the tip section of the bill: "The tip of the day was to see if I'm a man or not." The security guard said he asked the man to leave, and the suspect replied, "Fuck you." The guard said he was going to call police to press charges -- and the suspect replied, "Fuck the police, too." The guard said he asked the suspect once again to just leave the hotel, and the suspect allegedly replied: "I am not leaving, I'll blow it up." A Homeland Security investigator responded because the hotel has gotten bomb threats in the past few months. The suspect was charged with criminal trespassing.

The medium is the message: Apparently, there was a battle over cassette tapes between a man and woman (both age 51) on Simpson Road. The woman said the man tried to steal some cassette tapes from her. She said he didn't successfully steal the cassette tapes, so he grabbed a large stick and swung it at her. (A witness confirmed her story.) Police found the suspect and gave him a ticket for disorderly conduct. (The Blotter Diva says: A scrap over cassette tapes? How quaint. The Blotter Diva recommends: Just put those cassette tapes in the Smithsonian Institute, where they belong.)

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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