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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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OOPS! A man said he was in his house on Sims Street around 12:30 a.m., when another man kicked in his back door. The man reportedly apologized and said he had the wrong house. The man, who wore a net cap, fled before police arrived. The damage to the back door is about $200.

FREQUENT SHOPPER DISCOUNT: At a dollar store on Campbellton Road, a clerk said a regular customer (a man in his late 30s) grabbed some items and tried to leave without paying. When confronted, the customer reportedly said he'd been coming to this store for years and felt he shouldn't have to pay for the items. He loaded up his Pontiac and drove away, the clerk said. Police searched the area but couldn't find the suspect.

WASH THAT MAN RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HAIR: A 23-year-old man said his ex-boyfriend damaged his 2005 Dodge Durango and then flew home to New Jersey. There was shampoo all over the car, the radio antenna was bent, the gas-tank cap was gone -- and some unknown substance possibly was in the gas tank. Someone wrote in black marker all over the car: "Fag," "Dick Sucker," "Homo," "Bitch" and "Booty Bandit."

LOST HER TO THE OTHER TEAM: On Woodbine Way, a woman said a man using profanity came into her back yard and kicked over an outdoor fireplace. She said this man is the ex-boyfriend of her partner, a 36-year-old woman, and he is still bitter from their breakup. The ex-boyfriend fled before police arrived.

THANKS FOR THE CLARIFICATION: A female officer was working undercover on Piedmont Avenue. She said a bearded man offered her $20 to "fuck." The officer wrote in her report: "'Fuck' means regular sex." The bearded man was arrested for soliciting sex.

GHOST IN THE CLOSET? A man on Sylvan Road told police that he thought someone was after him. He said earlier he was across the street at his mother's apartment, and he thought somebody was hiding in his mother's closet. He said the closet door closed by itself and his mother wouldn't let him near the closet. He said he got scared, left his mom's apartment and went to another apartment and called 911. A police officer escorted the man back to his mom's apartment. She walked out and gave her son his shoes. The officer asked: "What was going on this morning?" "Nothing," the mother said. The son started getting nervous, the officer noted. Also, the mother said her son's name was different than the one he gave police. The officer told him to put his hands on the patrol car. The officer noted that when he touched the son's left pocket, he took off running. The officer chased him and "since the ground was wet and muddy, we both slipped and fell." Apparently, the son ran some more, and the officer pepper-sprayed him in the face. The son allegedly reached into his pocket for something. "I thought a possible gun," the officer wrote. The officer drew his gun and pointed it at the son, who took off running again. The officer searched for him ... but the son had vanished.

ALL IN THE FAMILY: A woman said her 21-year-old nephew robbed her at gunpoint. She said she picked up her nephew at his home in Fairburn, and she was driving him to a friend's house. Her nephew was acting strange, she said. She was driving down Cascade Avenue when her nephew pointed a pistol at her, she said, adding that the nephew tilted back his head and said he needed $1,500 or he is in trouble. She said he ordered her to drop him off behind a location on Campbellton Road. She said her nephew took $210 and her cell phone from her and ran away.

WHEN IN DOUBT, BLAME THE CIA: An officer saw a 35-year-old man outside a hotel on Peachtree Center Street. "I recognized him because he was given a criminal trespass warning on September 11, 2007 for being on [the same hotel's property]," the officer wrote. The officer told the man to leave or get arrested. "The suspect tried to ignore me and did not move from the location," the officer noted. So the officer arrested the man, who resisted and struggled. Eventually, the officer pepper-sprayed the man's face. "He just kept saying that the CIA was saying he was a terrorist, but he was not. [He] looked to be mentally unstable or demented."

BRAVE DUDE OF THE WEEK: A 25-year-old man said he was leaving a Clark Atlanta football game when a man approached him. He said the man pulled out a machete and told him to give up his money. The 25-year-old said he fought with the Machete Man -- and got cut several times on the forehead. Machete Man was unable to get any of the 25-year-old man's stuff.

GENERATION GAP: A 59-year-old man said two of his cars were keyed, egged and had sand poured on them while they were parked outside his apartment on Sidney Marcus Boulevard. (One car is a red 1951 Chevy Bel Air.) He said he talked to the maintenance man, who said he saw three young women tampering with his cars and then driving away in a purple car. The 59-year-old man now suspects his 22-year-old ex-girlfriend, whom he fired from his nightclub two days ago. She has a purple car. (A dating tip from the Blotter Diva: Ladies, don't bother dating a man 37 years your senior, who is also your boss. Nothing good will come of it.)

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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