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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports



YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: A female employee of the city of Atlanta Watershed Management Department walked into the Zone 3 precinct and gave police a complaint letter about a co-worker. According to her letter, this female co-worker took a digital picture of her with a cell phone at work. The employee said she confronted the co-worker, who was argumentative. "I know that there is no rationalizing with her limited mind," the letter states. A police officer reviewed the letter and found no evidence of criminal activity. The officer talked to the employee, who said she felt threatened by the co-worker and believes the co-worker is trying to make her look bad in front of her superiors.

The police officer told her that no criminal laws had been broken. He advised her to speak with her superiors and human resources about this apparent personal conflict. A police report was filed.

THE CABLE GUY'S SPECIAL HOOKUP OFFER: A female officer was working undercover on Memorial Drive. A man got out of a Comcast truck and approached her, she reported. According to the undercover officer, the man offered to give her free DSL, cable and Internet, plus $40, in exchange for "head" and "pussy." The man, age 22, was arrested for soliciting illegal sex. He was wearing a uniform, she noted.

LUCKY BREAK: On Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway, a 50-year-old man walked into a bank and tried to cash a fraudulent check for $10,000, according to the bank's manager. Security guards detained the man, and police arrived. The man said he "got a letter in the mail advising that he won $4.5 million in the Australian lottery," an officer wrote, adding, "[The man] had a letter from the lottery and the envelope on his person." Police checked the man's criminal history and it "further dispelled that he didn't know the check was fraudulent. [The man] was released and advised of the nature of this incident," the officer wrote. (The Blotter Diva wonders: Did this man actually visit the Land Down Under? Did he ever actually play the Australian lottery? Oh, and one more teeny-tiny question: Did he have a winning lottery ticket?)

SPICE GIRL ATTACK? A 43-year-old woman and a 35-year-old woman said they left work at the Ritz-Carlton hotel on Peachtree Street and walked over to a parking lot at Phipps Plaza, where their car was parked. They said a female co-worker followed them, pulled out a knife, lunged at the 43-year-old and said, "You are going to die." The 35-year-old woman said she moved the 43-year-old woman so she wouldn't get stabbed. Then, the co-worker repeatedly hit the 43-year-old woman, who struck back in self-defense, they said. Then the co-worker reportedly pushed her into some bushes and tried to pour a bottle of Tabasco on her face. Apparently, her Tabasco attack was thwarted, and she fled.

LUGGAGE ATTACK: On Cumberland Road, a woman said she saw a man swinging a suitcase around and damaging her neighbor's mailbox and crepe myrtle tree -- for no apparent reason. So she called police. An officer arrived and arrested the man, a 25-year-old from Cudjoe Key, Fla. He went to jail.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED: An 82-year-old woman said she picked up two unknown men to take them to the store. She said when they got there, one man snatched her purse and ran down Jonesboro Road. Her purse contained $50. "[The elderly woman] said she was doing a good deed because she is a missionaire [sic] in Zone 3," according to the police report.

FOAMING MAD: A 31-year-old woman drove a truck into several parked cars in a lot on 26th Street, police said. One officer noted that she smelled of alcohol and her speech was slurred. Another officer noted there was "foam at the corners of her mouth." He said the woman was confused and she couldn't say why she hit the cars and she believed she had done nothing wrong. She reportedly refused a breath test and yelled obscenities when an officer tried to handcuff her. She was arrested for DUI, reckless driving and obstruction.

THE ODD COUPLE, PART 1: A 61-year-old man and a 47-year-old man are roommates at a home on Cascade Road. They got into a fight about the 47-year-old not cleaning his room. He said the 61-year-old threatened him with a mop. Apparently, the argument escalated and both men threatened each other. A police officer arrived. Turns out, the 61-year-old is wanted in Fulton County for not showing up in court to deal with a drug charge. The 47-year-old said his blood pressure was dropping and he needed an ambulance. Both roommates were arrested for threatening each other.

THE ODD COUPLE, PART II: A 43-year-old man from Jacksonville, Fla., was at his new home on Simpson Road. He met his new roommate for the first time. He said he got upset because his new male roommate just threw stuff into a room -- and he wanted a clean room and didn't want to live in a messy house. So, the new roommate reportedly grabbed his stuff and left -- but five minutes later, he was back and wanted to talk. The 43-year-old said he offered to help his roommate organize his stuff. The homeowner arrived to try to calm the situation. The 43-year-old said he turned away and the roommate hit his head with an unknown object. The 43-year-old realized his head was bleeding, so he went to Grady Memorial Hospital. The cut on his head stretches from the back of his neck to his right ear.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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