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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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ON HIGHLAND TERRACE, a middle-aged woman said her neighbor came over and taped dog feces to her front door. A police officer arrived and noted, "There was dog feces taped to the door." He talked to the neighbor, a 24-year-old woman, who attends Emory University. She admitted to the dog feces caper. The middle-aged woman said she's called police on several neighbors regarding issues with her dog. The police officer gave both women trespassing warnings to stay away from each other. The officer noted, "This incident had to do with dogs in one another's yard."

AT GRADY MEMORIAL HOSPITAL, a security guard said a patient ripped out his medical tubes, picked up an oxygen tank and yelled at everyone to get back or he would use the oxygen tank as a bomb to blow up the place.

According to the guard, the male patient then tried to remove the cap from the oxygen tank -- and if that happened, the tank would have become a projectile. The guard said he grabbed the oxygen tank and detained the patient until police arrived. The male patient, age 38, was charged with fighting.

AT A HOTEL ON PEACHTREE STREET, a California man said his "Brietling Super Avenger" watch was on the hotel nightstand when he and his companion left the hotel room that morning. But, he said, the Brietling Super Avenger watch was gone when he returned. According to the police report, the watch is worth $10,000.

A WOMAN said she parked her Jeep Wrangler in a lot on John Wesley Dobbs Avenue. When she returned to the car, she said, the glove box was pulled out and its contents were scattered all over her car. But none of her personal items were stolen. The woman said the only items missing were 12 jars of mustard.

A 33-YEAR-OLD MAN told police that after he was released from Atlanta City Jail, he went to the police property room on North Avenue to pick up his bag. Then, he said, he met a man driving a white Jeep Cherokee, and this man gave him a ride to the Buckhead area. He said this Jeep-driving man picked up two other women along the way, and they were riding around smoking crack. Eventually, the two women were dropped off. Then, he said, the Jeep-driving man stole his bag, which contained thousands of dollars' worth of white gold. A police officer went back to the property room and checked the report listing the contents of the man's bag when he was first arrested: According to that report, the bag contained a shirt and jeans, "Sex in the City" perfume, a bottle of pills and porn tapes. No mention of white gold.

AT A GROCERY STORE on Cheshire Bridge Road, a cashier said a man looked like he was hiding something in his jacket. A police officer asked, "Did you take anything from the store?" "No," the man replied. The officer noted, "I could see the item in his jacket as we spoke." Eventually, the item -- a First Alert home safety device worth about $6 -- fell from his pocket, police said. The man, age 25, started to cry. He said he didn't know why he stole it. He was arrested for shoplifting.

A WOMAN said her two sons are being threatened by a gang known as "Young Money Makers." Nothing further.

A 66-YEAR-OLD MAN walked into a police precinct and requested a police report about his handmade pet beds. He said his former business partner at a Bennett Street antique shop had stolen his two handmade pet beds, worth $3,000. He said that his former business partner denied stealing the pet beds, but the beds were spotted at an antique store in Florida. (Although the police report did not list who saw them in Florida.) According to the police report, the former business partner lives in Gulf Breeze, Fla. (Blotter note: Just one of these pet beds -- at $1,500 -- is more expensive than my Blotter Diva human bed.)

ON RICHARDSON STREET, a man said he's been robbed every Saturday for the past five weeks by a man known as "Big Fat Joe." He said one Saturday, he got a ride from a co-worker to downtown Atlanta, then got a cab back to Richardson Street, where he intended to spend the night. He said he was outside an apartment building when Big Fat Joe walked up with a gun. The man said he handed $140 to Big Fat Joe. He said the man he stays with smokes crack cocaine, and owes Big Fat Joe some money. The man added that he himself hasn't smoked crack cocaine in two weeks.

The man told police where Big Fat Joe lives (also on Richardson Street), so an officer went there to check it out. People living there said Big Fat Joe doesn't live there, he just visits his step-son there. Nothing further.

POLICE SAW A WOMAN walking out of a vacant house on Mary Street. Water was pouring out the front door of the home, an officer noted. Police searched the woman and found a "still hot to the human touch" crack pipe on her, according to the report. Then they checked out the house. Police noted, "The whole first floor was flooded with water pouring out of the walls because the pipes had been ripped out." An officer asked the woman if she was scared to smoke in the house -- because the house was so waterlogged it might collapse on her. The woman said she wasn't worried. She was arrested for disorderly conduct. The fire department arrived and turned off the water to the house.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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