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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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A MAN PUT A PREGNANCY TEST inside his coat pocket and tried to leave a grocery store on Piedmont Avenue, a security guard said. The guard stopped the man, age 21. He readily admitted to stealing the pregnancy test (worth $7.99). He was charged with shoplifting.

A 25-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said she returned to her apartment on Simpson Road and noticed that someone had "cooked some spaghetti" on her stove. Also, the back door was now unlocked. So she called police. An officer checked out her apartment, and couldn't find any signs of forced entry. The woman said her apartment locks aren't good. A police report was filed.

AT A CONVENIENCE STORE ON SIMPSON ROAD, an employee called police and said a drunk man was trespassing again. The employee said the man cursed profusely, pushed him and threatened him. When police arrived, the drunk man's pants were down. The officer wrote, "He was arrested and relocated to Fulton County Jail, or as he referred to it, 'home.'"

A 64-YEAR-OLD MAN said he'd been "partying" with two 23-year-old men, whom he'd known for about two days. The 64-year-old and the young men went to a store on Northside Drive that sells sex toys and videotapes. The 64-year-old said he went inside to buy a few items, leaving the two young men in his car (a Lexus), with the keys. When he returned, the young men were gone -- and so was his Lexus. The 64-year-old did not know the last names of the young men.

AN OFFICER was sent to a movie theater on Cheshire Bridge Road to deal with a bearded man cursing at people in the parking lot. When the officer arrived, the man was yelling at the top of his lungs about "child pornography." The man smelled of booze, the officer added. The man threatened suicide, so police took him to Grady Memorial Hospital.

A MAN CALLED POLICE and said he found two pairs of skis and a ski bag on the ground outside a chiropractic office on Virginia Avenue. One pair of skis is Pinso brand; the other pair is High Sierra. The skis are worth about $2,000. Police arrived and took the skis and bag to the police property room.

AROUND 5 A.M., a woman called police and said someone broke into her house, cut off her electricity and stole $200 from her. An officer wrote, "This call has come up 14 times in the past months. ... Each time I have responded, [the woman] has been unable to open her front and back door. She has stated that it's locked and that she does not know how to unlock it." The officer went to the woman's house on Athens Avenue. He also asked medics to examine the woman and determine if she can take care of herself. The officer wrote, "Based on their evaluation, [the woman] was coherent and did not state she had any medical problems." The police report was titled "possible Alzheimer's patient." On a previous occasion, the woman told police that she was leaving the house to move in with her daughter. No further information.

ON MAYSON AVENUE, a woman said she was talking to a friend when a man nicknamed "Wee Wee" overheard their conversation and got mad. She said Wee Wee slapped her face and said, "Shut up bitch!" Then, he kicked her rear end. Wee Wee was gone when police arrived. The woman, age 38, said she's gonna find out Wee Wee's real name and swear out a warrant on him. Wee Wee is described as a 37-year-old man wearing a red T-shirt.

SOME ATLANTA FIREFIGHTERS SAID THEY WERE THREATENED by people standing on Hutchinson Street. The firefighters said the people threatened to shoot them because of their response time. A police officer showed up and asked everyone to leave. But a man wearing diamond jewelry refused to go. The officer searched the man, who was carrying $6,961 in cash. The officer noted, "The man was in a known drug area." Also, earlier this year, the man got a trespassing warning there. So the officer arrested him for trespassing. The man's diamond watch, necklace and ring were turned in to the police property room.

ON REBECCA ROAD, a 36-year-old woman said she was dealing with her kid when the phone rang. She asked her husband to answer the phone. Her husband refused and told her to get the damn phone herself, she said. So she confronted her husband about his tone of voice and language choices. She said her husband hit her while she was holding the child. When a police officer showed up, the husband was gone. The officer told the woman how to take out a warrant. "I also added that some marriage counseling would also be helpful," the officer wrote.

A COLLEGE PARK WOMAN said she tried to get public assistance and discovered that her sister-in-law had used her name and Social Security number to get a job at Grady Memorial Hospital. The College Park woman was upset and wanted to prosecute her sister-in-law. So a police officer went to Grady and found the sister-in-law in an administrative office, where she was being fired for falsifying her identity on the job application. The sister-in-law said the College Park woman gave her permission to use her identity to get a job. Shortly after she was fired, the sister-in-law was arrested for identity fraud and taken to jail.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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