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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports



AROUND 9 A.M., an officer responded to a call about a man refusing to leave a Starbucks on Peachtree Road. The man had locked himself inside the women's restroom and refused to open the door, the Starbucks manager said. However, when an officer showed up, the man decided to open the restroom door. "There was garbage all over the floor and toilet tissue stuck on the wall," the officer wrote. "[The man] purposely clogged the sink with paper towels and stuck rolls of toilet paper in the toilet, causing it to overflow onto the floor. ... [The man] said he had a bad case of diarrhea, therefore he had to use the bathroom at this location." The man said he didn't eat or drink anything at Starbucks, and his diarrhea was caused by a burrito with extra jalapeño peppers that he ate the night before. The man, age 44, was charged with disorderly conduct. The officer took him to jail.

A 33-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said she found another woman's panties on the floor of her boyfriend's bedroom on Smith Street. (Her boyfriend is 55 years old.) The woman got upset. Then, she and the boyfriend tried to fight and tossed clothes at each other. Police took both the woman and her boyfriend to jail. But the police report did not list any charges filed against either the woman or her boyfriend.

A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN fell down in a smoking room at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. Her head started bleeding. Medics arrived and put a bandage on her forehead. Bandaged, the woman started walking to the gate to catch her flight. But airport workers said the woman couldn't get on the plane because she was too drunk.

The woman started cursing and acting wild, police said. So they took her to jail. In the patrol car, the woman started bumping her head on the car seat, and her head started bleeding again. She got another bandage at the jail and calmed down. Then, she tore the bandage off her head and started bleeding again. The woman, age 46, hails from North Carolina. She wound up at Grady Memorial Hospital.

AT A GROCERY STORE ON PIEDMONT AVENUE, a security guard said he saw a middle-aged man put a Hallmark greeting card into his pants and leave the store without paying for it. The man freely admitted to stealing the greeting card (worth $2.79). According to the police report, the man has stretch marks on his abdomen. He got a ticket for shoplifting.

A MAN said someone stole a 3-foot Santa Claus decoration from his yard on Forrest Avenue.

A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN went Christmas shopping at Greenbriar Mall. She said she accidentally left her car keys inside her car in the mall parking lot. When she returned, her car was gone. It's a 2006 maroon Ford Taurus.

ON GLENWOOD AVENUE, two men had a homemade sign that read: "Christmas Trees $20." They had between seven and nine Christmas trees in the back of a Chevy truck. Police arrived and asked the men if they had a permit to sell items within Atlanta city limits. They didn't. So police charged the men with vending without a permit.

AROUND 1:30 A.M., police spotted a man driving the wrong way on Ga. 400. His Toyota was headed south in the northbound lanes near the toll booth, police said. Then, the man headed onto I-85, driving south in the northbound lanes. Then, the man ventured onto I-75 ... but here he decided to drive north in the southbound lanes. Police finally stopped the Toyota on Mount Paran Road and talked to the driver, a 52-year-old Alpharetta man. An officer asked, "Are you on any medication?" The man said he was taking lithium. The man said his arm hurt and he needed an ambulance. Medics arrived and checked out the man. They said he was possibly having a stroke. The officer asked, "Why are you driving on the wrong side of the road?" The man said, "Something told me to do it, so I did it." He went to Grady Memorial Hospital.

ON HUMPHRIES STREET, a 32-year-old woman said she and her ex-boyfriend (who has pink hair) argued one morning because another man spent the night in her house. (Apparently, the ex-boyfriend still lives there.) The woman said she left with the other man and dropped him off. She said she didn't want any conflict, so she went to a neighbor's house and took a nap on their couch. When she woke up, her car was gone -- along with a spare set of car keys. She said she questioned her ex-boyfriend about her car, and he said $3,000 at a chop shop. Then, she called police.

The ex-boyfriend said he had nothing to do with her car being stolen. He had scratches on his neck and chest. The officer wrote, "The scratches appeared to be self-inflicted ..."

The ex-boyfriend said the woman kicked him in the testicles. The woman denied doing this. He said he got annoyed when she came home with another man, not because he was jealous, but because they kept him awake by having loud sex. He said he walked to the store, bought a bottle of wine, and then took four sleeping pills. He said the next thing he knew, he woke up with his ex-girlfriend squeezing his testicles.

The officer noted that the ex-boyfriend was evasive. The officer wrote, "Neither one of them wanted to give me enough information to build a case on the other." No charges were filed.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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