So here's an itinerary of notorious haunts and havens aimed at getting the juices flowing. Just remember to have fun, keep on the right side of the law and not get any on ya.
9 p.m.: Start with a jaunt to Buckhead, where there are meat markets aplenty. Hungry thirtysomethings should check out the patio at Brio Tuscan Grille. For slightly younger prey, you might shoot for Jack Rabbit Lounge, a way-popular pizza and eye-candy joint on nearby Bolling Way.
10:30 p.m.: Cruise up Roswell Road to the famed Johnny's Hideaway, a swingin' hangout for the Viagra generation. If you are in need of some mothering, you can peruse the selection of sugar mommas on the prowl for a young hunk.
1 a.m.: Just outside I-285, you'll find Atlanta's premier cheesy singles bar, American Pie, the home of a thousand wet T-shirt contests and a bodacious waitstaff so scantily clad, it makes Hooter's seem like Denny's. Maybe you'll end up taking home a hot slice of pie yourself.
2 p.m.: Fire up your laptop so you can surf some naughty local websites. Browse Consump-tion Junction (www.consumptionjunction.com) for guy humor and hardcore content; let Eros Guide Atlanta (www.eros-atlanta.com/eros.htm) help you find Atlanta escorts; and check to see when Luxuria (www.luxuriaatlanta.com) has scheduled its next open-invitation meetup for serious swingers and the merely curious.
9 p.m.: Cheshire Bridge Road is a sleazoid's mecca with an endless bounty of salacious jollies. Start at the venerable Poster Hut, filled with adult novelties, edible undies, marital aids and off-color gag gifts. Nearby Southern Nights stocks the city's largest porn-ucopia of filthy videos, from Jenna Jameson to dwarf orgies.
Around the corner on Piedmont Road, you'll find Looks of Atlanta and Wendy-O's, two places where Atlanta's dancers find their outfits. Scattered nearby are several of the city's many dubious massage parlors and "Oriental spas." We don't want to get into hot water by suggesting which one to visit. Instead, we'll only suggest you request a massage with a "happy ending."
1 a.m.: Head for the legendary Tattletale Lounge, a strip club that's a little rough around the edges. But that's part of the charm it held for the guys from Motley Crüe, who celebrated Tattletale in "Girls, Girls, Girls."
For an upscale option, head to Maxim Cabaret, a strip club-turned-old-school burlesque parlor featuring both female and male dancers. It's a big hit with bachelorette parties.
3 p.m. Begin with a history lesson and visit the Historic Lawrenceville Courthouse, where "smut peddler with a heart" Larry Flynt (founder of Hustler) was battling obscenity charges when he was paralyzed by a would-be assassin's bullet.
6 p.m.: Study sleazy fashion at Girls R Fun, one of Atlanta's many lingerie-modeling studios. Then, head to Inserection on Peachtree Street, a sex-toy store with video booths certain to remind you of Times Square in the good old days.
9 p.m.: On nearby Spring Street is the Cheetah, a VIP-worthy strip club with a Vegas vibe and wall-to-wall babeage. Then go for a nightcap at the Clermont Lounge, a gloriously seedy grind-house where many dancers are candidates for membership in AARP or at least Jenny Craig. Be sure to ask Blondie to demonstrate the proper way to recycle a beer can.
2 a.m.: Venus is intown's only on-premise swinger's club, near Ansley Park. Despite the $60 cover fee for single men, we won't guarantee that you'll get lucky within the club's gothic warren of dark rooms, or even in the no-clothes-allowed play area, but if not - what's wrong with you?
10 p.m.: Begin at the Pink Pony, a must-see strip club that's become a trendy after-bar hangout for couples. Then, head to Fulton Industrial Boulevard, the closest thing Atlanta has to a red-light district. Here, you'll find some of the city's down-and-dirtiest strip clubs, a selection of no-tell motels and a bevy of adult-toy shops, such as Love Shack and Starship.
2 a.m.: Your final destination is a toss-up between competing sex clubs Trapeze, an upscale venue for hardcore swingers complete with hot tub, and 2Risqué, a more populist locale that strives to be a nightclub with live copulation. Wannabe Ron Jeremys are more than welcome to see if they have the stamina for both. If you've gotten this far, you've earned it.
JUST THE FACTS
2RISQU 4505 Commerce Drive. 404-696-2737. www.2risque.us.
AMERICAN PIE 5840 Roswell Road, Sandy Springs. 404-255-7571. www.american-pie.com.
BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE 2964 Peachtree Road. 404-601-5555. www.brioitalian.com.
THE CHEETAH 887 Spring St. 404-892-3037. www.thecheetah.com.
CLERMONT LOUNGE 789 Ponce de Leon Ave. 404-874-4783.
GIRLS R FUN 1541 Northside Drive. 404-351-4220.
HISTORIC LAWRENCEVILLE COURTHOUSE 185 W. Crogan St., Lawrenceville. 770-822-5450. www.visitlawrenceville.com/history.htm.
INSERECTION 505 Peachtree St. 404-829-6707. www.inserection.com.
JACK RABBIT LOUNGE 3055 Bolling Way. 404-261-2325.
JOHNNY'S HIDEAWAY 3771 Roswell Road.404-233-8026. www.johnnyshideaway.com.
LOOKS OF ATLANTA 2087 Piedmont Road. 404-875-9291.
LOVE SHACK 4050 Fulton Industrial Blvd. 404-472-0201. www.loveshackonline.com.
MAXIM CABARET 5275 Roswell Road.404-250-0244. www.maximcabaret.com.
PINK PONY 1837 Corporate Blvd. 404-634-6396. www.showbars.com.
POSTER HUT 2175 Cheshire Bridge Road. 404-633-7491.
SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEOS & GIFTS 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road. 404-728-0701.
STARSHIP 4403 Fulton Industrial Blvd. 404-505-7746. http://sent1.ecbrands11.com.
TATTLETALE LOUNGE 2075 Piedmont Road. 404-873-2294.
TRAPEZE 4470 Commerce Drive. 404-699-0100. www.trapezeclub.com.
VENUS 1405 Dutch Valley Place. 404-876-4306. www.clubvenus.com.
WENDY-O'S 1830 Piedmont Way. 404-249-7694. www.wendyo.com.