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Seeds of suspicion

The Blotter

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In Rosedale Heights, a community vegetable garden incited neighborhood rage. A man called the cops because he wanted his female neighbor arrested for taking numerous "greens and tomatoes" from the community garden.

The man said the female neighbor did not help plant the garden and that she did not supply any seeds, either. The man also said that the garden belonged to the community, not the female neighbor. (The Blotter Diva wonders: Is the female neighbor not part of the community?)

An officer arrived to sort out the veggie squabble. The female neighbor said she did help plant the garden and paid for some seeds. Also, she said she gave the man advance notice that she was going to take some greens and tomatoes. Several witnesses confirmed her story.

No charges were filed. The woman got to keep her veggies.

Regurgitation station: Near the Cobb County line, Atlanta cops found an extremely wasted 23-year-old man in a green Ford F15 on a recent Saturday around midnight. The driver was "passed out and slumped over behind the wheel," an officer wrote. "I immediately smelled the odor of alcoholic beverage and vomit" on both the car and the driver's breath. The officer asked the driver to step out of the car. "I noted [he] was not wearing shoes or a shirt and was only wearing khaki shorts. The shorts were soiled with vomit and urine."

The driver was arrested for DUI, among other charges. "At one point, spitting in the patrol car, [the man] kept stating that he was not drunk and intended to stay at the frat house" in Cobb County.

So close. He was just 300 yards away from the Cobb County line.

Invest in some storytelling lessons: Police received an anonymous 911 call about a young man dressed in a white shirt and black jeans who was reportedly breaking into a home on Ira Street.

When the cops arrived, they noticed that there was damage to one of the windows and some of the burglar bars had been bent. Quickly, one of the cops chased down the running suspect and found a black iPod in the suspect's pocket. The cop put him into a patrol car and then drove him back to the Ira Street house.

Police asked the man for his name and age. The suspect reportedly gave a fake name and a fake birthday — first he said he's 18, then he added two years to his age. Police fingerprinted him and found out his real name and age, 19.

The suspect then said he was "going to tell the truth," an officer wrote. "He stated that he was just walking by and bought the iPod from two guys nicknamed Little Woody and Little Qualie." That story didn't fly, either. The young man went to jail on a burglary charge.

Bringing up the rear: At the Atlanta City Jail, two inmates — a man and a woman — got into a fight. The woman, a 26-year-old from Stone Mountain, said she was leaving the jail bathroom when the man walked up behind her and said, "Let me feel that" and then grabbed and squeezed her buttocks. She told a jail staffer, who decided to call 911.

A cop talked to the alleged butt-grabber, who agreed to speak without a lawyer. Stupidly, the man "asked me what the difference was between if he grabbed her on the buttocks versus slapping her on the buttocks," the officer wrote. "I informed him the difference is a charge of simple battery or sexual battery. He then asked me if it was a felony. I advised him 'no' and that both were misdemeanors."

The man said, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be on the sex offender list — that I can't live next to a school with kids or something." The officer then asked if there is anything sexual in nature in the man's criminal history. The man said no, there isn't.

The man did not deny grabbing the woman's buttocks but he decided that he didn't want to answer any more questions. The man said that he tried to apologize to the female inmate, but — not surprisingly — she didn't want to hear any of it.

He was charged with a sex offense. Next time, keep your hands to yourself — and your mouth shut.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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