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Savor the flavor

Another damn guest columnist

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Avid readers of Scene & Herd are undoubtedly aware that this column's regular writer, Andisheh Nouraee, has taken a brief sabbatical, and Frederick Noble of www.degeneratepress.com, stepped in to fill these pages while Andy's away. Well, it turns out that Frederick had to run out of town for a bit so I -- Carlton Hargro, CL's assistant arts and entertainment editor -- agreed to pen this week's edition of S&H. Just think of me as "relief pitcher" to the relief pitcher.

OK, on to the fun ... .

S&H usually chronicles weekend events in Atlanta, but my adventures actually started Tuesday in Atlantic Station at the premiere of the film ATL. As you may know, this movie has been shrouded by a thick, funky cloud of controversy for weeks. Numerous theater operators were warned that the film may cause black folks to start busting caps at the concession stand or some bullshit like that.

ATL PREMIERE: Big Boi catches a whiff of someone's stankonia. - SHABIROON JUMARALLI

Well, I'm here to report that no violence went down at the premiere. All I witnessed was a long parade of folks who were more interested in showing off their bling-bling than going to Sing Sing. You feel me? An ass-load of stars -- such as Big Boi, Jazze Pha and T.I. -- pranced down the red carpet without inciting a riot. Damn you, you haters.

Full of flava: I have to make a confession: I'm obsessed with the VH1 reality show "The Flavor of Love." Yes, I know "FOL" is a moronic program, but if loving this show is wrong, I don't want to be right. And since I'm such a devoted viewer, I had to be on hand at Club Nocturnal to see seven "bachelorettes" from the show -- Georgia, Peaches, Sweetie, Hottie, Goldie, Pumpkin and Smiley -- in person during a rare Tuesday night visit to the ATL (the city, not the movie).

SMILEY FROM "THE FLAVOR OF LOVE": Let me heal the hurt. - EDWARD ADAMS
  • Edward Adams
  • SMILEY FROM "THE FLAVOR OF LOVE": Let me heal the hurt.

The "Flavor" ladies were brought to Atlanta by promoter Kim Kearney of Millennium Entertainment Group to sign autographs and socialize with fans. (Oh, and it turns out that Kearney's got her own reality show in the works called "Luv in the Club." It will reportedly match up celebrities with potential love interests in various nightclubs around town.)

During the appearance at Nocturnal, each lady got the opportunity to show off her individual talents (or lack thereof) on stage in front an eager crowd. I hung out with the ladies for about an hour and had a strangely intimate encounter with the infamous Pumpkin (yeah, the spitter) who hugged me about five times in a row. Weird.

The next morning, the magnificent seven made the trek to CL's new offices so I could interview them for my weekly podcast, "Audiofloss." And although they were up late partying, everyone was bright-eyed and ready to shoot the shit.

I was just happy they showed up because it allowed me to meet my favorite "Flavor" girl, Smiley, who I lust after via basic cable. Remember Smiley? She was the ex-stripper who was cast on the show just four days after ending a four-year marriage. "Flavor" cut her because she had "unresolved issues" and, upon hearing the news, she wept rivers of tears.

Isn't that sweet? No? Oh, what do you know? She's cute, dammit! And in case you were wondering, she's working past the pain of her divorce day by day. If you want to hear more from Smiley and the other "Flavor" girls, check out my podcast at www.audiofloss.com.

CLUB NOCTURNAL: Pumpkin (right) gives Carlton hug No. 4. - SHABIROON JUMARALLI

Jumping to Friday: I rubbed elbows and ass-cheeks with the Buckhead types at the launch of Peach magazine. Fronted by Miami's renowned Ocean Drive magazine, Peach is sort of like Jezebel with better printing and fewer typos. The party was interesting.

Said to have cost $1 million, the soiree at InterContinental Hotel in Buckhead featured a mostly white, cosmetically enhanced cadre of folks attempting to dance to hip-hop music. Pam Anderson made an appearance (basically, she sat on her ass while morons gawked) and Atlanta's own Ludacris performed about five songs. The highlight of the evening -- well, for me -- was a chance meeting with publicist Caren West, who appeared very excited to meet me because she "loved my work." So, big shout to Caren. Hit me up later and we can sip some cold ones at Strokers.

Break it down: I wrapped up my festivities Saturday at the Skill 4 Sole breakdance battle at EarthLink Live. Skill 4 Sole was hosted by Atlanta-based B-boy Quic and went down in conjunction with the A3C Independent Hip-Hop Festival. Now, when it comes to breakin', I'm not exactly a neophyte. Back in the 1980s, I was part of a breakdance/rap crew called the 20th Place Players. And although we sucked ass at breakin', I do remember that everyone involved in the culture at that time was black or Latino. Even in the early '90s, I remember having to fight white kids in order to watch "Yo! MTV Raps" in my college dorm. Consequently, it was odd to see such a diverse group of people who could actually hold their own on the dancefloor. I guess hip-hop is pop.

SKILL 4 SOLE: White girls can jump ... I mean, break. - CHRISTOPHER OQUENDO

That's it. Next week, Frederick returns. I love you, Smiley.

scene@creativeloafing.com

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