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Red vendetta

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Around midnight, a 29-year-old Buckhead man was in his apartment when his phone buzzed with threatening text messages from his ex-girlfriend. Texts such as: "I'm going to spray-paint your door," "Your car is going to need a new paint job," and "I'm going to put red Sharpie all over your car." Also, she threatened to scrawl "abusive dick" on his car. Twenty-two minutes later, the ex-girlfriend sent another text announcing that she was now standing outside his apartment door on East Paces Ferry Road.

She banged on the door and repeatedly buzzed him on the intercom/call box. The Buckhead man quickly called 911 and asked for help.

A cop arrived and found the ex-girlfriend still hanging around the call box. The cop asked: Why are you here? No answer. Cop: Are you having a fight with your ex-boyfriend? No, just visiting him, she replied. Cop: OK, let's go inside and talk to your ex-boyfriend.

A goopy red mess dripped from the ex-boyfriends' apartment door. "I noticed that it was completely covered with a red substance I identified as ketchup," the officer wrote. "This ketchup was all over the front door as well as the carpet in the front door area, causing a stain." The cop asked the ex-girlfriend: Did you make this ketchup mess? Yes, she admitted. The ex-girlfriend was clutching a bag with "ketchup all over it" and a red Sharpie inside.

"As soon as I placed handcuffs on [the ex-girlfriend] she became extremely violent, attempting to pull away from me," the officer noted. Also, she tried to kick the ex-boyfriend as he bid her farewell. The 25-year-old woman from Duluth was jailed on multiple charges.

Lewd, lecherous lust: During a local annual convention, a very intoxicated Kentucky man got grabby with the ladies at an upscale Westside brewery that serves organic food. The 27-year-old man kept "touching female customers who were sitting at the bar," the manager said. Several women got really upset, and the manager asked the drunk Kentucky guy to leave. Repeatedly. Not leaving, the drunkie said, throwing his cell phone at the manager's head. The offended women eventually got fed up, stood up, and walked to another part of the restaurant. Drunkie got up, staggering, and tried to follow them, but a large security guard stood in his way. Drunkie challenged the guard to a fight, using his hand to knocking the guard's eyeglasses off his face. The guard squeezed and held the man until cops arrived to haul him off to jail.

Officer Cupid's twofer: An undercover officer rented a hotel room on Courtland Avenue and called a number listed in an escort ad. He was quoted a price of $350 an hour for two girls to service him. Moments later, two 20-year-olds from South Florida knocked on the hotel room door, walked inside and "both girls got naked," according to the police report. Cop: Does this include a blowjob and sex? Yes, the women replied. Cop: How long have you two girls been working together? Long enough, the girls replied. One Florida babe "handed me a condom from her purse and told me that I could put it on myself." The officer called for backup and took both 20-year-olds to jail on prostitution charges.

Same old song and dance

A tourist from Washington visited Atlanta and heard about a 24-hour karaoke bar/diner on Peachtree Street. Intrigued, she went to the karaoke bar, and decided to take a bathroom break before her big karaoke debut. She left her brand-new iPhone 5 and purse on the table while she went to the bathroom — and while she was on stage. Of course, when she returned to her table, her purse and iPhone were long gone.

Model behavior: A 27-year-old woman was riding a MARTA bus when she met a guy who offered her a modeling job. As the MARTA bus whizzed by Atlantic Station, the man pointed to a discount department store and said the modeling gig was for that specific store. One catch: The woman must pay HIM for each modeling job ($100 per gig), and the guy wanted the money wired via Western Union. The woman agreed, captivated by the modeling offer. Days later, she wired him $200 and received a confirmation email from a fashion magazine for modeling gigs in a few weeks. The big day finally arrived. The woman said she was supposed to meet the man at Atlantic Station for her modeling job. Surprise, surprise, he never showed up. Crestfallen, the woman called the magazine listed in her confirmation email, asking for her money back. Staffers said they'd never even heard the guy's name.

Germs R Us: A 25-year-old Lithonia man was feeling sick, so he found an Atlanta doctor and went to his office. The doctor ran some tests, and gave the patient some bad news. He'd tested positive for a nasty infectious disease: tuberculosis. The man reacted by refusing to leave the doctor's office for hours. He didn't give a reason, didn't ask for another test — just refused to go. Eventually a cop arrived and took him to jail for trespassing, jail being a great place to spread a tuberculosis infection with every sneeze and cough.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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