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Karma Cleanser

Has my snogging on the beach come back to haunt me?


Dear Karma Cleanser:

I went on a long vacation this summer with a group of seven friends. We rented a house on a secluded beach and had what I consider to be one of the best trips of my life. There was lots of drinking, a little smoking, some snogging in the dunes and just outrageousness all around.

After the trip was over, all of us went back to our lives with an unspoken rule that what happened at the beach stays at the beach. But now one of our friends who was on the trip has broken that rule. He has posted about 150 photos of the trip on a website and sent the link to several other friends. I have people who are almost strangers coming up to me saying things like, "Looks like you had a crazy vacation with so-and-so!"

I don't want some of these pictures out there for the whole world to see because they show all of us in an unflattering light. If my co-workers caught sight of some of these shots, I think it would cause a little scandal in my office.

I asked my friend to take down his photos and he got upset. Is this just bad karma coming back to me because of some of the stuff I did on vacation, or do I legitimately have a point here?

– Sand in My Panties

First of all, who says "snogging," unless you've just finished reading a Harry Potter novel? Anyway, you're justified in feeling as if your privacy has been invaded, though you're also not blameless in the matter. You did (presumably) agree to have your photo taken during the act of binge-drinking/bong-sharing/snogging. Even so, your friend should honor your request and at least remove any photos that you appear in. A rule for the next beach outing: no cameras allowed.

Dear Karma Cleanser:

(In response to "Infidelity Magnet," Nov. 1): I'm not sure that I disagree with your advice when you told the young woman to go back to the online dating scene and just be more specific with what she wanted, but I also think you should have given her more options to go on.

Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but do young people these days never meet in the face-to-face, nonvirtual world anymore? Whatever happened to finding your potential spouse through involvement in volunteer work, or, God forbid, by going to church? I met my husband when we both volunteered to teach a Sunday school class at our church. We've been together for more than 20 years.

– Googling Godmother

Thanks, Mary Worth. You're right: We should have offered "Infidelity Magnet" options beyond the ruthless realm of online matchmaking. And yes, attending church services can definitely be an alternative to cruising for sex on Craigslist, even if we think of "organized religion" as a sort of oxymoron.

Been bad?

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