For the last year and a half or so, I've been flirting with this guy and he's been flirting back. The only problem is that he's been in a relationship with the same girl since we met. I kinda forgot about him since I only saw him every now and then at a party or something during the summer. Then a few months ago I hung out with him and another friend and his girlfriend wasn't there, so we flirted a little more than we had before. He wouldn't let it go too far since he was taken. Anyway, more time went by and apparently their relationship wasn't going as well. I was at a party that he and his girlfriend attended. The entire night we were getting drunk and flirting and so on. Right before I left, he got my number and later that night we met up and finally had some "alone" time. Since that night we've been "hanging out" whenever his girlfriend is out of town or busy doing something else. It started out basically just about sex, but now I've gotten to know him a little better and really like him. He says he's going to break up with her eventually when he gets enough nerve, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Also, his girlfriend isn't a bitch at all and she's probably the last person I would want to do this to. What I want to ask is am I in big karma trouble for life?-- Been Very Bad
For life? Nah. For now, though, you need to draw a line and let your beau know that he can't have it both ways. The fact that his relationship isn't going so well and that he's too scared to break it off doesn't excuse dishonesty. Don't settle for sloppy seconds when you deserve a full-time love affair.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
I let a little secret slip out to one of my co-workers. Though he vowed to me that he wouldn't tell, I now know that it's gotten out. The secret won't be a secret much longer, but I'm afraid I'm going to get in big trouble for saying anything at all. Is my karma worse off than his, or are we both in for it?-- Office Politics Suck
Alas, the Karma Cleanser knows too well how quickly workplace gossip travels, so we tend to take the Eliza Doolittle approach and only discuss the weather. Your colleague's karma is no worse off than yours. Your sins were the same: prematurely releasing privileged information. As with most things premature, some fuss will probably follow, but we think you'll both be OK in the final wash.
Been bad? firstname.lastname@example.org.