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Karma Cleanser

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Dear Karma Cleanser: Help! I'm trapped in a job where everyone in my office is expected to put in 60-hour workweeks. This has been an adjustment for me because I came from a job where workers barely logged 40 hours per week.

I don't mind the work itself, and I do like some of my co-workers. But I think the policies are unfair and I've started trying to find ways to get around the requirements. I figured out that I can log into our system from home and create the appearance that I'm working, even if I'm just surfing or watching TV. I discovered this about three weeks ago, and last week the shit hit the proverbial fan. My car got hit while parked outside my friend's apartment. The next day, I tripped on a broken sidewalk and twisted my ankle.

Do you think I'm having a streak of bad luck because I've been slacking off at work? Honestly, I'm not really slacking, but I'm also not logging as many midnight hours as my co-workers.-- Away Message

Any editor will tell you, something has to happen three times for it to become a streak, so we don't think we'd call your recent misfortunes a trend just yet. Still, it'll eventually come out that you've been paying more attention to "The Apprentice" than to your actual workload. Plus, your recent habit of faux telecommuting is terribly unfair to your co-workers who really are logging 60 hours a week. Fight the system not by cheating it, but by finding a position that fits better into your personal work ethic. And do it fast, before life imitates art and you hear your own boss say, "You're fired!"



Dear Karma Cleanser:My boyfriend has a weird problem. He laughs in his sleep. I've previously had to deal with men who snored loudly, and one guy who did some sleepwalking, but never this before. We live together and I believe that the quality of our relationship diminishes when one of us goes to sleep on the couch. But I really can't put up with this much longer. I'm losing valuable sleep every night.
How can I save my relationship -- but get a good night's sleep?-- Not Funny

Novelist Anthony Burgess obviously did not have you in mind when he said, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." Sadly, your question seems to be beyond the powers of the Karma Cleanser to answer. We're better at queries on bad karma, not giving advice on bizarre medical minutiae. Take it up with your physician, or convince your boyfriend that the couch really isn't just there for punishment.

Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.

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