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Karma Cleanser

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Dear Karma Cleanser:
So my friend calls me up and tells me that he has started dating this girl and that he's totally infatuated and thinks she's the one for him. He tells me her name, "Jenny Smith" (not her real name) and I think to myself, "That name rings a bell." We make dinner plans for next week so I can meet this Jenny Smith and see if she gets the friend stamp of approval and I hang up the phone thinking, "Good for Rob (not his real name either) for finally nailing a chick that sounds like she is good for him." But then, later that night, I start putting the puzzle pieces together and I realize that I do know this Jenny Smith. I'm pretty sure that I met her when she was briefly enrolled in my college. I met her at a friend's party and we went on one date, if you can call it that. She proceeded to stalk me for the next month until I finally had to get rude.

So now I've got to go to dinner with my good friend and a girl I told to fuck off. I'd honestly like to get out of this and warn my buddy that his new girl is psychotic. Is that acceptable, or am I asking for trouble?


-- Girl Trouble


We have no way of knowing how long it's been since your episode with psycho girl. Since it sounds like it was a recent incident, perhaps you should (politely) bow out of dinner and let your friend discover Jenny's neurosis for himself. Meanwhile, resist the urge to share with Rob the story of your stalking. At this point in the relationship, there's no way he'd believe you anyway.



Dear Karma Cleanser:
I don't have any skeletons in the closet at the moment. But I want to make a confession on behalf of an associate, someone who repeatedly makes me feel like less of a person. He pushes me around, and for some reason I take it. I want to confess his rude, belligerent behavior and hopefully amend his ways. Maybe there's no real bad karma going on here, but I'm anxious to make this thing stop.


-- Pushover


Confession's a funny thing. It only works if the person committing the crime actually does the confessing. Otherwise, it's just tattling. Or accusing. See the difference? With that in mind, perhaps you should do some true confessing and tell your bullying associate that you're sick of his shit. It's not a question of karma; it's a matter of self-respect.

Been bad? Who can take a regret and dip it in a dream? The Karma Cleanser can. karma@creativeloafing.com.

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