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Karma Cleanser

Calling out my easy online friend

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There's a soft drink machine in a dusty corner of my office building that doesn't get a lot of use. Most people don't realize that almost without failure the machine gives out two drinks instead of one when you hit the right button. I made this discovery by accident and since then, for the past few weeks, have been getting two colas for the price of one every afternoon.
My co-worker (who is real holier-than-thou) found out about this and promptly told me that it was a sin to steal.
I told her to mind her own business. In fact, I've started visiting the broken machine twice a day just to piss her off. How bad is that?

-- Two cokes and a smile

The Karma Cleanser doesn't doubt that the purloined pop is somehow sweeter than cans you've paid for. You, however, are being a glutton by shaking the sugar tree too much. Consider your first freebie a gift from the heavens; after that, leave the machine be to make some other caffeine fiend's day.

Karma Cleanser:
A friend of mine sends me e-mails almost daily from a certain e-mail address. Recently I got a message from him using a different address -- with a screen name clearly designed to attract other men for immediate, anonymous sex. He apparently screwed up and mailed me from the wrong account without thinking.
This same friend has told me that he looks down on people who use online services for cheap, tawdry meetings with men.
Am I required to confront him for this apparent hypocrisy?

-- Online or out of line?

The role of a real friend is not to point out their friends' faults. Accept that your pen pal has an unseen dark side. But the next time he attacks the click-and-trick crowd, casually mention that you know about "HotManMeet4U" and see if you stay on his buddy list.

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to karma@creativeloafing.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.

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