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Karma Cleanser

Mom's seeing saucers, but sis just wants her money

Karma Cleanser:
My mother, age 73, has been telling the family for years that she believes in UFOs. She claims she saw one back in the late '70s. Recently, my older sister, who is just out for the sizable inheritance, came to me with a plot to have Mother committed. She wants to use the UFO story to convince the doctors that Mother is no longer mentally stable.
I know good and well that Mother is not the most balanced member of our family, but I also know that she's not quite unstable to the point of needing to be put in a home. However, I'm in a situation where I could use the money. (Sister has promised me a large part of the inheritance if I help her with this plan.)
Am I attracting bad karma points by considering going through with this? Or am I actually doing Mom a favor by giving her some assisted living?
-- Visitation Rights

Your mere consideration of this scheme makes it obvious that common decency is an alien concept to you. Tell your sister she's fucking spacey; warn your mom that your sister has been abducted and is now one of them.

Karma Cleanser:
This relationship thing is killing me. I've been seeing a seemingly wonderful man for six or seven months now. He's everything my ex-husband never could be: a magnificent dancer, an amazing cook, a passionate lover.
Problem is, I don't trust him. I know that he had some fidelity problems in his past relationship. So did I.
My heart tells me to throw myself headlong into him, damn the consequences. But my friends tell me to not get carried away by his charisma. Is this the universe's way of paying me back for past sins? Am I risking the best thing ever by worrying over it too much?
-- Miss d'Opportunity

Is it possible to sleep with one eye open? To clap with one hand? To love both cautiously and carelessly? Probably not, but your task here is to try. Don't let past indiscretions ruin a possibly wonderful thing. But yeah, you probably should watch your back.

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.

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