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Holy cow!

Area man reviews book


The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume I, falls "a little short" of the satirical website and newspaper's standards, according to an area reviewer. "Having become the nation's hottest humor publication, and with the release of last year's near-masterpiece Our Dumb Century, The Onion may be suffering from overwork," wrote the book critic, who used an extended medical metaphor.

The anthology of The Onion's bogus news stories, editorials and infographics from the past four years "seems to suffer from chronic double vision, with traces of repetitive motion disorder," the reviewer "diagnosed." For examples he cited how the book has two stories each about such topics as oral sex ("Area Bassist Fellated" and "Coffeehouse Encounter Results in Conversation, Cunnilingus"), blues singer Willie "Skipbone" Jackson, ethnic stereotypes come to life and even viscosity.

"The Onion's Finest News Reporting also seems afflicted by morbid thoughts and depression," continued the reviewer, who has no medical or psychological training. "Several stories, like 'New York to Install Special "Infants Only" Dumpsters' involve dead children for 'shock value.' While you can appreciate the intent behind 'Ugly Girl Killed,' in which an unattractive child gets no outpouring of grief a la Jon Benet Ramsey, it's not any funnier than an Op-Ed piece allegedly written by Jon Benet about how nice it is in heaven. Maybe The Onion's writers need a vacation."

Noting that the book is labeled "Volume I," the reviewer wondered if The Onion's editors were sitting on better material for future books. He emphasized that fans of The Onion would find plenty to enjoy, such as "Civil War Enthusiasts Burn Atlanta to Ground" and "Christ Returns to the NBA." He singled out as "amusingly quirky" such editorials as "I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippie Owner" written by "Thunder the Ferret."

The reviewer concluded with the "prescription" that The Onion try not to overexert itself in the future and it might produce more consistently funny books. "After all, laughter is the best medicine."

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