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Great expectorations

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On Westmont Road, a 40-year-old man argued with his girlfriend at the home they share with three children. The man said his girlfriend spit on him during the argument. He tried to retaliate, but his mouth was "too dry" to work up any saliva. The girlfriend told him to leave, so he started to pack his things. While packing, he said he grabbed a hammer, thinking he might need it at work the next day. According to the man, the girlfriend then sprayed his eyes with pepper spray and he spent the next 30 minutes washing his eyes out in the bathroom. Then he went back to the bedroom and fell asleep. The officer noted that the man had "teary eyes and discoloration consistent with being sprayed with oleoresin capsicum."

The girlfriend's story: She said her drunk boyfriend demanded the keys to her truck so he could go to the store. She refused because she didn't want him driving drunk. She suspects her boyfriend hid the hammer above the kitchen cabinets, where she can't reach.

The officer returned to the living room, where the boyfriend was now denying that he ever touched a hammer. So the officer arrested him. The officer asked: Where is the hammer? Boyfriend: The hammer is in the kitchen. Then the boyfriend said he really threw the hammer into the backyard and offered to "get the hammer if ... the cop would let him out of the patrol car," according to the police report. Nice try. The officer continued, "I asked [him] to stop wasting our collective time and answer truthfully or not at all." Officer: For the last time, where is the hammer? The boyfriend said, "Over the oven, shit." The officer went to kitchen and found hammer inside a cabinet over the oven. The boyfriend went to jail.

Soggy catfight: A 25-year-old woman was quietly getting a manicure at a salon, when suddenly another woman argued with her about personal issues and started to spit in her face. The salon manager stepped into the catfight and pulled the sparring women apart. A security guard held onto the spitting woman until police arrived. The 25-year-old woman has a small cut over her eyebrow and she managed to scratch up the other woman's chest in the brawl. Both women refused to talk about their "personal issues."

Acid drop: Things went awry when a female officer and her partner were patrolling the airport parking lots. "We pulled into the cell phone to do a routine patrol when my left leg started to burn," the officer wrote. (Apparently, the burn affected her writing ability.) "I smelled something burning and smoke began to rise from the floor of our patrol vehicle. Upon further investigation, I found my backup battery for my Streamlight Stinger was leaking battery acid," she wrote. "The battery acid had leaked out of the battery, inside of my backpack, burning a hole through the bottom of my backpack ... the acid traveled down, burning the left leg of my uniform pants, which caused a chemical burn under my left knee."

The officer only filed a report to explain her damaged blue uniform pants.

Fore!: A woman was driving on Northside Drive when she passed a golf course. Suddenly, a golf ball hit her silver 2012 Acura RDX, cracking the windshield. A golf-course employee saw a man hit the golf ball into her car, but the suspect sprinted away on the golf course.

High times: An officer stopped a silver BMW with tinted windows and no license plate. A 21-year-old man rolled down the window and said he was looking for a 24-hour drug rehab center. He said his friend told him there was a drug rehab center on a nearby street. The officer didn't buy his story. "The area where I stopped [him] was a residential neighborhood that is a high-drug traffic area" near the Westside, the officer wrote. The 21-year-old man said he was not looking to buy drugs because he was trying to find a rehab center to help with his drug addiction. He agreed to be searched; police found one hit of Suboxone in his wallet. He didn't have a prescription for it, so he went to jail.

Redneck rampage: An officer responded to a domestic dispute on Fox Street. A 43-year-old woman and a 45-year-old man were in the front yard "yelling and screaming at each other," the officer wrote. The man said the woman arrived home upset with him and started to tear up his room. He said it all started when she walked into the house and he announced he was going to the store to buy a "calling card." The woman broke the TV and pulled down his window blinds. After she smashed his TV, the boyfriend got revenge by breaking her window with a wooden stick. "Once both bedrooms were destroyed, [the couple] called police and waited for us to show up," the officer wrote. No one was hurt in the spat.

The officer looked around. "While conducting my investigation inside the house, I noticed two dogs that had been locked inside a room," the officer wrote. "The room was covered with dog feces and both dogs had no choice but to stand in it. The smell was unbearable and both dogs were removed by animal control. The room looked as if there was a few weeks worth of dog feces on the floor." The man and woman went to jail on animal cruelty and disorderly conduct charges.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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