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Doug Monroe's Favorite Thing to Hide from Out-of-Town Guests

Traffic

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"The traffic on our vast, untamed highway system is our great shame. It tells visitors the sad fact that we put the future of our region into the hands of rednecks with bulldozers. Visiting comedians ridicule us. Last week, Lewis Black called for the DOT to advertise guns on its message boards. Killer Beaz got so lost on the Perimeter that he wants DOT to put signs on I-285 that say: 'This is a big circle, dummy.' Jon Stewart realized we have no speed limits when he was driving toward Alabama and being passed by all the big rigs on I-20. A trooper pulled him over. 'You know how fast you're going?' 'Yes, sir,' Stewart said. '80.' The trooper snarled: 'You pussy.'

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