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A cop saw a suspicious man in the Kroger parking lot on Ponce de Leon Avenue. According to the police report, the man walked up to a black Chevy SUV and crawled underneath it. Then the man then "layed down with his feet on the driver's side of the vehicle ... He was under the car for about 10 seconds and then got onto his feet and walked away," the officer wrote. Then the man pretended to talk a cellphone as he walked away. The officer stopped the man and asked, "What are you doing here?" The man said he found a phony cellphone under the SUV.

Just then, the SUV's owner, a man dubbed "Elvis Presley" walked out of Kroger and toward his car. When Elvis got into his SUV, the engine wouldn't start. The officer looked under the SUV and saw an electrical plug dangling. The officer showed the plug to Elvis and then plugged it back in. "I had Presley try to start his vehicle again and it started right away without any further problems," the officer wrote.

Elvis drove away and the officer arrested the suspect, a 56-year-old man, for tricks and schemes related to interfering with parked cars. Apparently, the same guy has been hanging out in the same Kroger lot lately and several cars were recently towed because they wouldn't start.

En route to jail, the suspect said, "This will not be the last time you see me." He has a long history of tricks and schemes charges.

Long, strange trip: At a hotel in Home Park, a drunk man refused to leave the lobby. He said he had caught a bus from his home and rode a long way to meet a friend at the hotel. But when he arrived, the friend was not at the hotel. Now the man has no place to go.

A cop ran a computer check and found out that the 32-year-old suspect is a registered sex offender. A security guard said the hotel had students from several colleges staying there but they just wanted to give the guy a verbal warning.

The man said he would not leave because he had no place to go. So the officer put him in a patrol car. "While in the back of my patrol vehicle, he stated that he was feeling suicidal, and he was going to hurt someone if I did not let him go," the officer noted.

The officer asked the man if he had recently taken any drugs. The man said he used methamphetamines two days ago. He went to Grady Memorial Hospital for a mental evaluation. The hotel did not want to press charges.

Say hello to my little friend: On the Westside, two female roommates said a guy nicknamed "Scarface" showed up at their home early one morning with a sawed-off shotgun and pointed the weapon at them. The women said Scarface argued with another guy last week in their parking lot and thought he was staying at their apartment. Eventually, Scarface ran off.

Scarface is described as a slim, short man wearing a beige or rust-colored coat and black pants. Police canvassed the area but couldn't find him.

The world is yours: At around 3:30 a.m., police found a man passed out and slumped behind the wheel of gray Ford Fusion with the engine running. The car was in a motel parking lot on Cheshire Bridge Road. The officer tried to rouse the driver, a 58-year-old Marietta man. "I had to talk very loud to get his attention," the officer wrote. The driver appeared drunk and "looked up at me very slowly." Officer: Are you staying at the motel? Driver: Yes, pointing to door. The driver said he had visited a gentleman's club next door and drove his car from gentlemen's club to the motel (about 50 feet).

The driver failed a sobriety test. The officer searched him and found a large, unmarked prescription bottle in his pocket which contained a baggie of cocaine, a baggie of methamphetamine, four oxycodone pills, one alprazom, a white hydrocodone pill, an orange hydrocodone pill, and an Ambien. Also, there was "loose marijuana inside of the blue pill bottle and other pills that could not be identified," the officer wrote. The driver went to jail on a plethora of drug charges.

Wired up: On a recent afternoon, a middle-aged woman marched into a food market and asked a male clerk for her cell phone. The clerk said he had no idea what she was talking about. Pissed, the woman started hurling items around the store and knocked over displays. "I'm going to keep throwing shit until the police come," the woman yelled. According to the clerk, the woman came close to a door that leads to his counter area. The clerk said he has a gun but he never pointed it at the woman.

The officer wrote, "I looked around the store and there were displays knocked on the floor and chips laying on the ground." The clerk said the woman tried to use a fake $50 bill in the store earlier that week, but she took the money back and left.

The officer arrested the woman for disorderly conduct and took her to jail. The woman's pink bookbag, filled with wires, was turned in to police property.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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