Xmas gag gift 2: The unedited text of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

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In the spirit of holiday giving, PopSmart is proud to present to you the long-lost final passages of the original text of the classic children's book How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, before editorial tampering made it more commercial:

... Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,

He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!

"Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.

"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! "They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! "Their mouths will hang open a minute or two

"Then the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,

"That I simply MUST hear!"

So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low. Then it started to grow ...

But the sound wasn't sad!

Why it sounded ... mad!

"HEY? Where's all our stuff?"

"FFFUUUCCCKKK!"

"Daddy, where's my pantookah?"

"All our Christmas shit's gone!"

"Do you know how many hours I spent basting that roast beast?"

"Do you know how long it took ME to put together the electro-who-cardio-schnook?"

"What kind of Who could have done such a thing?"

"Check the security camera!"

"Look on the surveillance tape -- Santy Claus is taking our last can of Who Hash!"

"That's not Santy Claus -- he's not wearing any pants! It's the Grinch!"

"THAT asshole?"

"Where's my shotgun?"

"Let's kick his furry green ass!"

"And his little dog, too!"

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