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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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"I ain't no motherfucking devil worshiper!" yelled a man as he paced back and forth on 12th Street in Midtown at around 11:15 p.m. As the man repeated this mantra, several neighbors walked outside to see the commotion and someone called police. When an officer arrived, the man was even more frantic. "I ain't no motherfucking devil worshiper. Do I look like a devil worshiper?" the man shrieked. As the officer walked closer, the man darted into a nearby house. The officer ran to the house, knocked on the door, and yelled "Atlanta police!" Three men answered the door. The officer asked: Which one of you was screaming and cursing? A 22-year-old man stepped forward and confessed. The officer wrote, "I smelled a strong odor of alcoholic beverage coming from his person." The 22-year-old man could not explain why he was concerned about being mistaken for a devil worshiper. He went to jail accused of drunk and disorderly conduct.

KINFOLK KERFUFFLE: A woman said she let her drug-addict nephew and his wife stay at her home on North Avenue — and the whole family got into a fight. The woman finally called it a night, but her nephew and his wife kept squabbling. When the woman woke up the next day, they were still bickering. She left to take her grandchild to school, and when she returned home the couple had vanished, along with some of her favorite possessions: a turkey fryer, a foot massager, and a stereo.

OFF THE WAGON: Police stopped a man on Edgewood Avenue and arrested him on cocaine trafficking charges. Inside the man's car, police reportedly found $3,166 cash, three envelopes packed with a total of 70 bags of cocaine, and a blue Narcotics Anonymous notebook with the man's name inside.

NO COMPRENDO: An 18-year-old Marietta man is accused of stealing an "El Salvador" from a trendy Little Five Points store. Apparently, he aimed very low with his alleged shoplifting caper. The El Salvador is worth exactly $1. The 18-year-old went to jail on a shoplifting charge. The Blotter Diva wonders: What the heck is an El Salvador and why is it worth going to jail over? Multiple Internet searches turned up nada. Anyone?

ONLY THE LOAN-LY: A 35-year-old woman said she's getting threatening calls from "gentlemen with accents." Apparently, the calls started after she applied for a "payday loan" online (and she included her bank account number in the online application). The woman said the gentlemen with accents repeatedly tell her that she's approved for a car loan. The woman said she did not apply for a car loan, just a payday loan, but the gentlemen with accents told her that she MUST take the car loan or her driver's license would be suspended and her Social Security number would be frozen. She believes the gentlemen with accents are calling from a law firm.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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