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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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On a recent afternoon, an officer wrote, "I heard a car horn in the area of Junction Avenue and Peachtree Road." A 66-year-old woman in a blue Ford Focus was "driving closely behind another driver, honking her horn with ... her middle finger out of her driver's window," the officer wrote. "I followed [her] as she continued to honk and yell at the driver."

The officer stopped the woman, gave her a ticket for improperly using her horn, and talked to her about road rage. "[The woman] stated she was headed home and just saying hello to the person," the officer wrote. "[She] said she did not know them at first, but then stated it was her friend and she did not know their name."

After ticketing the woman, the officer left the scene and "continued patrolling my beat." About 15 minutes later, the officer heard a loud horn again and saw the same woman tailing another car, "yelling with her left hand out the window, giving the middle finger to another driver." This time, the officer arrested the 66-year-old woman and took her to jail on an aggressive driving charge.

JUST FOR KICKS? On Broad Street, a man is accused of trying to steal a Starbucks coffee worth $2.91. An officer arrived and talked to the man. "He stated he was just looking for something to drink, that's why he stole the coffee," the officer wrote. "While searching the accused, I found $502.15 inside his black bag." The man went to jail on a shoplifting charge.

STONED & CONFIDENT: On a recent Tuesday morning, a team of officers reported an erratic driver on Cascade Road. The driver of a red Ford Fusion allegedly crossed the center line into oncoming traffic. Police stopped the car on Orlando Street. "Upon walking up to the vehicle, I could smell what I immediately recognized ... to be the strong and pungent odor of raw marijuana emitting from the interior of the vehicle," an officer wrote. "The driver appeared very nervous. The driver was sweating profusely from his forehead and upper lip and his hands were shaking when he handed me his license."

In the car trunk, the officer found a "clear freezer bag which contained marijuana." (A pound of suspected marijuana divided into 16 one-ounce bags.) Police let a female passenger in the car go home.

The suspect, a 36-year-old Jonesboro man, "was never questioned in regards to the marijuana," the officer noted. "While standing by for the prisoner transport wagon, [the suspect] made two spontaneous utterances."

The suspect said, "I should have had her drive the car so I wouldn't have gotten arrested," and "Yeah, I'm riding with a pound of raw in my trunk, but I'm still blessed and highly favored by God."

JUST LIKE VALIUM: Around 4 a.m., officers responded to a call about a suspicious person in Midtown, near the intersection of 7th and Peachtree streets. They talked to a 42-year-old man who said he was returning from the store around the corner. A computer check revealed the man is wanted in Pickens County and Montgomery County, so an officer handcuffed the man. "What's the problem?" the man said. "Why am I being arrested?" Police searched him and reportedly found "a small stainless steel and black rubber crack pipe," an officer wrote, adding that the man said he found the pipe while "scavenging for loose change on the ground." Police also reportedly found a baggie filled with a white powdery substance. The man said it was "sleeping powder" given to him by "some guy."

Apparently, the drug's primary effect is the opposite of drowsy. The officer wrote, "I field tested a sampling of the white powdery substance ... which returned a positive indication for cocaine." The man went to jail on drug charges.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: On a recent Wednesday, an officer spotted "a male walking in the middle of the roadway when there was a sidewalk available." The officer told the man to move over to the sidewalk. "[He] looked back at me over his right shoulder and continued to walk along the roadway while slowly drifting to the sidewalk." The officer stopped the 18-year-old man and asked for his ID. The man reportedly got very agitated. The man said, "You must be fucking bored, why are you fucking with me?" The officer took the man to jail and charged him with disorderly conduct and pedestrian in the road.

MESSAGE TO THE GOVERNMENT: A 40-year-old woman allegedly had "her pants pulled down with her genitals exposed" while standing about a block from Atlanta City Hall. (It was about 12:30 p.m. on a recent Wednesday.) Also, she had "a can of Colt 45 in her hand," an officer noted. "When she noticed my presence, she put the can of beer down and pulled her pants up." She went to jail on a public indecency charge.

WHY BOTHER? A 32-year-old woman said she parked her car outside the salon where she works on North Highland Avenue. Later on, she realized someone apparently broke into her car and stole one thing: an empty flat-iron box.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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