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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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On a recent Sunday morning, an officer dealt with a dispute at a soccer game on Berne Street. A 40-year-old Marietta man said he was the game's referee, and during the game, he gave a red card to a 34-year-old Lawrenceville man, who got very upset. The referee said the man head-butted him, "causing lip lacerations and a chipped tooth," the officer wrote. The referee said the man left in a silver 2010 Toyota Tundra, and he gave the tag number to police. A computer check revealed the angry soccer player has a troubled past — he has outstanding warrant "with full extradition" in Illinois.

MOIST OFFER: A woman allegedly hopped into an unmarked police car around 11:30 p.m. earlier this month, and asked the undercover officer if he could take her home. "Once inside the vehicle, [she] opened her legs and began playing with her vagina," the officer wrote. The woman said her name is "WetWet." The officer asked, "How can I get some of that?" The woman said, "When you take [me] home, I will give you a discount." She told the officer that $80 is her going rate. The 32-year-old woman went to jail on prostitution charge.

THE EX-FILES: On a recent Saturday, a man went to his black Pontiac Firebird, which was parked outside his apartment on Westview Drive. According to the police report, his side-view mirror was damaged, and he found a note that appears to be in his ex-girlfriend's handwriting that said, "I want my wig & shit up out your car, U fucked with me for the last time punk ass bitch."

HELLISH HOUSEGUEST? On Fairburn Road, a 27-year-old woman said her handgun was stolen from her bedroom closet and she suspects her boyfriend's friend, who stayed with them for about a week earlier this month. She said the gun and the boyfriend's friend disappeared on the same day. Apparently, the friend goes by the name "Murder" on the street.

ROAD HAZARD: An officer spotted a 34-year-old man walking against traffic at Peachtree and Ellis streets. The officer told him to get out of the street, but the man "began to dance in the middle of the roadway, nearly getting struck by a vehicle." When the officer approached the man, "[he] stated he had music in his ears — that's why he didn't hear my verbal command. While searching the subject, I noticed he had earphones on his ears, but was not attached to a Walkman or such." The officer charged the 34-year-old man with "pedestrian in roadway" and took him to jail.

WALK THIS WAY: A man said he was walking along the highway going home to Austell, when medics stopped him. (He was more than 32 miles away from Austell, walking on I-20 in southwest Atlanta at about 4 a.m.) A police officer explained that the man is not allowed to walk alongside the highway. "[He] began to argue that he needed proof in writing that he was not allowed to walk along the highway, otherwise he was going to continue to walk along the highway," the officer wrote. "I offered to take [the man] to the next exit to a pay phone and get him the number for a cab company, however [the man] was adamant about getting back on the highway and walking home."

Eventually, the man was arrested for "pedestrian on highway" and went to jail. According to the police report, the man, 32, smelled strongly of alcohol.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED: A 31-year-old woman said that after she returned to her apartment from a short trip, she smelled "a foul odor in the apartment, where all the food in the refrigerator has spoiled due to the electricity cut-off because of non-payment."

She said she was letting another woman stay in her apartment while she's away. She said earlier this month, the other woman agreed to pay the electric bill — but apparently, she couldn't come up with the money.

So the two women argued about the foul odor and the electric bill. A few minutes later, the 31-year-old woman called police and said her apartment was vandalized and the other woman stole her flat-screen TV and her desktop computer. When an officer arrived, he saw "several fist-size or larger holes throughout every room in the apartment." The other woman was gone.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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