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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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Around 8:45 a.m., an officer saw a woman allegedly smoking crack cocaine through a glass cylinder on Fort Street, with what appeared to be a meat cleaver sticking out of her purse. When asked why she was smoking crack with a meat cleaver, the woman replied that she needed it for protection. The 36-year-old woman was charged with violating the city knives and razors ordinance. She went to jail.

BIG POCKETS: Police stopped a 37-year-old man on Wesley Avenue earlier this month. A police officer noted that the man immediately began to pat his right pocket and became very agitated. "His speech became stuttered while I was speaking to him. [He] seemed very nervous, he would not make eye contact with me," the officer noted.

The man said he was going to visit his wife, who lives down the street. But the man could not name the street he was currently walking on — or the street name where his wife lived. "As I was speaking to [the man], he continued to pat his right pants pocket. ... [He] was wearing black jean shorts, which were sagging below his buttocks," the officer noted. "The jean shorts had big pockets, and the right side was bulging out. With the use of my flashlight, I was able to look inside his pants pocket without touching [the man]. I observed in plain view several small clear baggies that contained a green leafy substance inside." The man allegedly had 16 clear baggies of suspected marijuana. En route to jail, police found another baggie of suspected marijuana inside the man's mouth.

WORTH THE TROUBLE? A couple argued at the apartment they share on Reeves Circle. According to the police report, they both said they "were cursing and pushing each other during a heated verbal dispute over sex." The boyfriend, 28, and the girlfriend, 23, both got tickets for disorderly conduct — and a court date.

HAIRY SITUATION: A 23-year-old woman said she was sitting under the hair dryer and watching TV in her apartment on Jonesboro Road, when someone suddenly tossed a brick through her window, shattering glass. (It was about 1 a.m. on a recent Thursday.) No suspects.

NEIGHBOR DAZE, PART 1: A man said he was watching his neighbor's home on Rome Drive for three weeks because the woman is sick and had to go to a senior citizen facility. The man said he went to the woman's house on a recent Tuesday and found another man lying on the couch, who said his name is Junior. According to the neighbor, Junior ran through the kitchen and tried to leave via the back door, but it wouldn't open, so Junior walked out the front door.

The next day, the neighbor said when he returned from a doctor's appointment, the screen door was wide open at his neighbor's house. He said he went inside and discovered a two flat screen TVs missing from the woman's home.

NEIGHBOR DAZE, PART 2: Around 3 a.m., an officer got a call about a rowdy man at a Martin Street apartment. The officer wrote, "I could hear someone yelling so loudly, I was able to hear it from down the hallway." The officer knocked on the apartment door and a 60-year-old man answered. "I asked why he was yelling so loud and banging on the wall. [The man] stated that it was his television that was making the noise," the officer wrote. The man agreed to turn off the TV and go to sleep, so the officer left.

About 10 minutes later, the officer got another call about the same apartment. "When I arrived on scene for the second time, I heard [the man] banging on the wall, yelling at his neighbor again," the officer wrote. This time, the officer handcuffed the man and took him to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

ROAD SHOW: On a recent Thursday morning, a 29-year-old woman was accused of standing in the middle of Cheshire Bridge Road and stopping cars. An officer wrote, "I approached the female ... and asked why she was stopping traffic." The woman replied, "I'm looking for a friend." The officer ran a computer check — turns out, there's a Fulton County warrant for the woman for violating probation on a prostitution charge. She went to jail

EXPLANATION OF THE WEEK: At a grocery store on Ponce de Leon Avenue, a woman allegedly put a bottle of nail polish in her purse and tried to leave without paying. A security guard stopped the woman and called police. The woman "admitted to me that she put a bottle of fingernail polish in her purse and left the store," an officer wrote. The woman "said that she was going out to ask her boyfriend if he would buy the polish for her and then she was going to return to the store to pay for the item." The woman went to jail on a shoplifting charge. The brown nail polish is worth $3.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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