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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports



CRANKY LADY, PART I: An Atlanta police officer dealt with a suspected drunk driver on Central Avenue. The female driver was barefoot when she got out of her car. The officer asked if she had any shoes in the car and she said yes, so the officer let her get them. The officer said he walked over to his patrol car and when he returned, "she was still inside the vehicle and couldn't figure out how to put her boots on." She then exited the vehicle barefoot again. She said she was coming from a friend's house in Atlanta and had "like two drinks." A few minutes later, the woman said, "I'm fucked up, put me in jail!" The officer wrote, "I questioned fresh body damage on the passenger side and undercarriage and she said her friend did it."

The officer arrested the woman for DUI/less safe driver. "She begged me to take care of her and not put her in with a bunch of lesbians and said she had too much to drink," the officer wrote. "She was read implied consent for blood or breath, and then said her father was the richest man in Atlanta and she was a lawyer. She said she was always told to refuse." When they got to jail, the woman exited the patrol car and said, "I didn't think you were going to bring me here, I thought you were going to take me to your friend's house!" The officer asked, "Why would I do that – and she said, 'you know.'"

At the jail, the woman "made a comment about wrecking her friend's car because her friend was drunker than she was." The 42-year-old woman hails from New Smyrna Beach, Fla.

CRANKY LADY, PART II: An officer was working at an accident site where a car had crashed into a building, causing serious damage. A woman staggered up to his patrol car while he was doing paperwork, and offered him a half-empty liquor bottle. "I told her to go away," the officer wrote. "She then staggered up to a group of firemen from Engine 13 who were trying to determine if the building was structurally sound, and began offering them a drink and talking incoherently, interfering with their investigation," the officer wrote. "When they refused to take the bottle, she threw it down and busted it amid the group. As one of the firemen made her pick up the pieces, another one came and got me and told me about how she was bothering them and that she had smashed the bottle."

The officer arrested the woman for interfering with firefighters and police. "As I took her back to my car, she began shouting at me and the firemen, using profanity and causing a scene in a busy parking lot. I then transported [the woman] to the Atlanta City jail but they refused to take her at that time." So the officer took her to the detention center at Grady Memorial Hospital and charged her with disorderly conduct while intoxicated and obstruction. The woman was belligerent during the entire ride, cursing and calling the officer a "fucking cracker bitch," the officer noted.

IF THE SHOE FITS: A man said he parked his car on 10th Street near Piedmont Park. He said a group of four young women pulled up in a silver Toyota Echo, and one blond woman threw a shoe from the car window -- and the shoe hit his rear bumper. He said the blond woman laughed in his face as she jumped out to get her shoe. He said he threatened to call police and the blond woman replied, "Fuck the police." Also, he said the women in the car drove away but returned a few minutes later and then left again. No arrests.

FIRED UP: A woman was terminated from her job as a leasing office employee at an apartment complex on Boulevard. According to her boss, the woman was visibly upset and made several threats, including, "You're gonna bust hell wide open," and "It's gonna be real soon."

READY TO DRAW: A couple said they left their home on Bolfair Drive for two days and someone robbed and ransacked their place. The woman said they were trying to move to a better place, and she believes people were watching them and broke in while they were away. Items reported missing include: $2,000 worth of Sharpie markers, a tent (worth $6,000), remote-control cars, a microwave, DVDs, a mini-refrigerator, two small blenders, stereo equipment, a baby crib, and a handgun.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED: A 25-year-old woman said a female friend asked her to watch her cats and stay at her apartment on Marietta Street while she was away. The 25-year-old woman said another friend came over and they went to a club and got into an argument. She said the next day, the mutual friend told her to move all her stuff into the living room. She said the mutual friend's boyfriend -- named "Crunch" -- assaulted her. She said the friend punched her face twice and she tried to call 911, but Crunch grabbed her phone. She said the friend grabbed the phone from Crunch and threw it against a wall, smashing it to pieces. Also, she said Crunch held her while the friend tried to bite her. Eventually, the 25-year-old woman went to a neighbor's house to call police. Apparently, Crunch and the friend were gone when police arrived.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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