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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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ROCKIN' AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREES: Around 6 a.m., surprise visitors appeared at a place that sells Christmas trees on Moreland Avenue. A 21-year-old man said he is the night watchman and he was asleep in a trailer. He said two men came in through the trailer window and took $30 from the cash register. He said when he turned on the light, both men fled. One suspect is described as a very tall man with blond hair and a big nose, and dressed in a black hip-length coat. The second man reportedly has scruffy facial hair, and wore a black coat, a red cap and new Nike shoes.

RUDOLPH RUNS AMOK: On Tell Road, a 33-year-old woman said a deer came running out of the woods and slammed into her car. She said her car, a 2008 silver Ford Mustang, is no longer drivable. Apparently, the deer fled before police arrived.

MOMMA'S HOLIDAY PARTYING: Around 3:30 a.m., a 49-year-old woman was at a MARTA station, trying to report her money stolen. She said she had been drinking with a guy she doesn't know, but he knows her son. The woman said she drank about half a bottle of gin and she was looking to buy alcohol from someone on the street. She said she was at the intersection of Peachtree and Alabama streets when the man snatched $25 from her hand and took off running.

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL: A 29-year-old man tried to set himself on fire on Campbellton Road. "He said his girlfriend accused him of cheating on her and he denied it," an officer wrote. "He said she continued to make the accusations, and he became angry with her. He said to prove his love for her, he doused his head, shirt and arms with lighter fluid and lit his shirt on fire. He said his girlfriend and a friend of hers put the flames out."

Apparently, the man was not seriously hurt. He complained of first-degree burns on his arm and upper torso. Medics took him to Grady Memorial Hospital. Police charged him with disorderly conduct.

MR. SCROOGE DITCHES HIS RIDE: An officer responded to a call about a person trapped in a car on Cheshire Bridge Road. When the officer arrived, firefighters were trying to prevent a 2005 green Jeep Wrangler from falling off a cliff and onto the street. The Jeep's owner, a 63-year-old man, was sitting on the cliff, blocking firefighters trying to save his car. A firefighter asked the man to get out of the way. The man refused, saying he had a right to be there. So the firefighter asked police to move the man because he was preventing firefighters from doing their job.

The officer ordered the man to move or face arrest. "Why? I have done nothing wrong," the man said. The officer wrote, "He then began to start fighting with me and stated, 'Don't touch me.'" The officer grabbed the man's arm and brought him to the ground – and the man hit his head on the way down. Police impounded the man's Jeep and charged him with obstructing firefighters.

WILD SLEIGH RIDE: Around 1 a.m., an officer reported a blue Nissan going 91 mph on I-20. He stopped the car and talked to the driver, a 26-year-old man. The officer asked if there was an emergency. "He said yes, and that he was in a hurry to pick up his girlfriend at work," the officer wrote. The man's eyes were bloodshot and dilated and he smelled of alcohol, the officer noted. "I asked him where he was coming from and he became tongue-tied, saying, 'Um, um Buckhead, uh, um, I mean Bankhead Highway!'" Also, the officer smelled marijuana and observed "raised yellowish green tastebuds on the rear of the tongue." Also, the man's outfit raised questions. "As he exited the car, I noticed his clothes were messed up and his pants were completely undone."

The man was arrested for DUI.

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: A lost elderly woman was wandering around the Kirkwood area. Apparently, an unknown person spotted the elderly woman and drove her to a church on Ponce de Leon Avenue. The elderly woman told church workers that she doesn't know where she lives. Also, she didn't have any identification. A church worker found a piece of paper with a Dunwoody address on the elderly woman. A police officer went to the Dunwoody address and confirmed that the elderly woman does live there. Her granddaughter came to the church, picked up her grandmother and took her back home.

UP ON THE ROOFTOP: On Armour Drive, a business owner arrived at work one morning and discovered that the roof was leaking. "When he went to the roof to check it out, he found that someone had thrown several beer/liquor bottles on the roof, causing damage, which in turn caused the roof to leak," an officer wrote. The man said none of his employees had been on the roof -- and the roof had never leaked before. Roof damage is estimated at $1,000.

DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMASTIME AT ALL? An officer responded to a fight call at a shelter on Pryor Street. A 23-year-old woman said a middle-aged woman pushed her and tried to hit her face. "I sat down in a seat next to her purse and she accused me of stealing," the 23-year-old woman said. "Then, she came close to me, pushing me with her chest, and tried to punch me in the face, but missed. I hit her in the face to get her off of me. I don't know her name, only we both live in the shelter."

The officer spoke with the other woman, age 50. She said, "Everyone keeps taking my stuff. I have to protect my stuff. She takes my stuff. The voices told me so."

The woman was arrested for fighting. She went to Grady Detention Center for a mental evaluation.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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