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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports



NASTY NEIGHBOR: On Nelms Avenue, a 46-year-old man said he’s had problems with his neighbor for about three years. He said he and his family held a yard sale on Saturday and while people approached their house, the neighbor threw firecrackers on the sidewalk — so people walked away from the yard sale. The man said he asked his neighbor to stop throwing firecrackers and the neighbor replied, “Fuck you, faggot. I’ll kick your ass.”
     A police officer talked to the neighbor, a 38-year-old man. He admitted throwing firecrackers, but denied making threats. The officer walked to his patrol car to get some paperwork, when the 46-year-old man followed him and said his neighbor just told him, “You’re not big enough to kick my ass.” The officer asked the man if he felt threatened and he said yes. The officer asked the neighbor if he made the statement and the neighbor said yes. The officer explained to both men how to take out a warrant on each other. “They both said that it was not necessary, and they could conduct themselves like gentlemen from this point forward.”   

CAR WARS: A 35-year-old man said he left his black Chevy Tahoe running while he was loading groceries. He said when he walked back to the grocery store, a complete stranger asked him for spare change. The man said, “Hold on and I’ll take care of you.” The man said when he walked out of the grocery store, the stranger was driving away in his car.
    The next day, police saw the same 35-year-old man yelling and running up Whitaker Street. The man said, “The guy who stole my car is running that way with a black shirt and a backpack.” Police saw a man running through a back yard and stopped him. The 35-year-old man said the backpack belongs to him. An officer asked the 35-year-old what’s inside his backpack. “[He] said there should be an empty juice container inside containing loose change and a few dollars,” an officer wrote. Police found the man’s Chevy Tahoe nearby.
    The man said he was tipped off about his car when a local mechanic saw a strange man driving his truck and called. The man inspected his car and said the following items were missing: a laptop computer, $1,200 cash, his passport, driver’s license, and the car keys. “The vehicle’s engine was hot to the touch and had obviously just been turned off,” the officer wrote.

NAKED PROBLEM: A 24-year-old woman said her girlfriend showed up and knocked on the back door of her home on Proctor Street. She said her girlfriend looked through the window and saw a naked man inside the house. She said her girlfriend asked her to open the door but she refused — so the girlfriend broke the rear windows. Police charged the girlfriend, age 39, with damaging property and took her to jail.

THE X-FACTOR: A woman said she left her apartment on Old Hapeville Road and when she returned, her ex-boyfriend was lying in her bed. She said the ex-boyfriend initially refused to leave — but he did a few minutes later. Apparently, the ex-boyfriend still has a key to her apartment, even though the apartment management had officially warned him about trespassing. The ex-boyfriend admitted he knew he had been warned. He went to jail.

ANGRY MESSAGE: A man said someone slashed all four tires on his white 2007 Chrysler Aspen while his car was parked on Armour Drive. A note left on his windshield read, “CUNT.” The man said the tire replacements cost around $1,200. The man, age 61, hails from Bunnsville, N.C.

MESSAGE MADNESS: A 40-year-old woman said someone must have gone into her purse and stolen two pieces of paper. “One piece had phone numbers on it and the other piece had a list of messages on it,” an officer wrote. The woman said she had $4 in her handbag and it was still there. She said three other people — a man and two women — had been at her home on Browns Mill Road. No witnesses. She requested a police report.

REPEAT RUMBLE: At a grocery store on Headland Drive, a security guard said a frequent shoplifter struck around 10 a.m. The guard said he confronted the man and asked him to return the items stuffed inside his jacket, and leave the store. The man allegedly removed some meat from his jacket and dropped it on the floor. The man reportedly said he would return to the store with his gun. The guard called police and another employee saw the man go to his truck and get a handgun. “The suspect came back into the store with a weapon in hand and left again,” an officer wrote. No injuries. The suspect is described as a man in his 50s, wearing a yellow rain jacket and jeans.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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