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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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CLOTHES ENCOUNTERS: A 24-year-old man wearing a dress allegedly shoplifted from a drugstore on Boulevard. According to a security guard, the man concealed a soap-and-body-wash set inside his bag. The security guard said he tried to stop the man – but he ran out of the drugstore, along with a woman. The guard said he hopped in his car and caught them about a block away – but the man passed his bag to the woman, and she disappeared between some houses. Apparently, the man took off his dress, threw a rock at the guard’s car, and ran into Zoo Atlanta. Eventually, police caught the man and took him to jail.

REVENGE ON COMCAST: A Comcast employee said he left his keys in the ignition of his company truck on Martin Street. He said he went inside an apartment – and when he looked out a window, he saw his truck being driven away. The truck, a 2009 white Ford Ranger, has “Comcast” written on the sides. He filed a police report on the stolen truck.  

EXPECTING TROUBLE? Around 6 a.m., a man was in the maternity ward’s waiting room at Grady Memorial Hospital. According to a security guard, the man said he was at the maternity ward to get his knee looked at by a doctor. The guard ran a computer check on the man – turns out, he has three trespassing warnings from Grady Hospital. The most recent warning was on March 30, 2009. Police took the 45-year-old man to jail.

SPEAKING IN TONGUES: A man called police to complain about noise from his upstairs neighbors at an apartment building on Ralph McGill Boulevard. He said when they made noise that morning, he knocked on the ceiling to quiet them. He then left – but his brother and his roommate stayed behind. According to the man, while he was gone, the male neighbor came downstairs and talked loudly to his brother. The man is upset, because he says his brother has a mental problem and can get very aggressive when anyone confronts him or yells.   
The officer talked to a 29-year-old woman who lives upstairs. She said the alleged noises are from her toddler daughter – who isn’t even 2 years old yet. She said the man complains nonstop about noise to management, and it’s so bad, they are changing apartments in the next four days. She said her child’s father went downstairs to ask the man for consideration, nothing more. She said they are from New York and they talk loudly and excitedly – but he didn’t go downstairs to upset anyone, he was just trying to reconcile things for the family’s well-being. The police officer told them all to stop talking to each other, unless it’s through the apartment’s managers.

LOSING FAITH? On Saturday, a woman said she found a gun shell casing on the bathroom floor of her church on Glenwood Avenue. Also, there are bullet holes in the church wall. (The bullets apparently came through a bathroom window.)  No suspects.
    On Friday, vandalism was reported at a church on Morningside Drive. A church member said he discovered graffiti around 10 a.m. The letters “UMR” were written in blue on a church sign. Also, the word “Maze” and “UMR” were written in white and blue on the church’s electrical box. No suspects.
    A reverend said he and his church members left their church on Fairburn Road around 9:30 p.m. Thursday. When the reverend returned the next morning, he said the church’s air conditioning units had been dismantled and the copper piping was missing. He said replacing the church’s air conditioning would cost $17,000. No suspects.  
    Finally, on Monday, a woman said she saw a black Dodge Stratus in the parking lot of her church on Hill Street. She said the driver rammed the Dodge into the church fence, causing extensive damage. She said the driver fled, but she wrote down the tag number and turned it over to her pastor and police. No suspects.

FASHION CRISIS: An officer dealt with an injury on Fairburn Place. A 39-year-old man said “he was looking for a shirt, when he yelled out in disgust because he could not find the shirt,” the officer wrote. “[The man] said that during his outburst, he raised his arms, of which the right one struck a picture on the wall of his living room, causing his injury. [The man] said he did not intend to hurt himself nor did he have any intentions of hurting anyone else.” The man’s sister, nieces and nephews were there – and they all corroborated the man’s story. Medics treated the minor cut on the man’s right hand.

TEENAGE WASTELAND: An unruly 19-year-old man was arrested at Turner Field. An officer reported that security guards requested his help in asking “a drunk fan to leave the stadium." “I walked over to [the 19-year-old man] and he was telling security to fuck off, he will have their job,” the officer wrote. “I noticed [he] was intoxicated. I asked [him] to please leave the stadium several times and [he] refused, telling me that his brother is a lawyer and he will have my fucking job.” The officer arrested the man, who cursed and then “stated to me that he would give me $50 if I would let him go because I was a broke motherfucker.” At the precinct, the 19-year-old man reportedly kicked the door, beat his head against the glass and threatened to kick the officer’s ass. The officer handcuffed him to a chair, so he wouldn’t hurt himself – and called his parents.   

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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