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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

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HONEY, I’M HOME!: Around 4 a.m., an officer dealt with a car wreck. He reported “a Green Jetta lying upside down on Benning Place and a blue Honda Fit hit/damaged on the driver’s side.” Both cars were unoccupied. The Honda’s owner, a 65-year-old woman, said her neighbor woke her up to tell her that her car was hit outside her home on Benning Place. The Jetta driver wasn’t there, so the officer traced the Jetta tag number to an address on Harold Avenue in Candler Park.
Police went to the Harold Avenue home and talked to a woman who lives there. She said her husband drove the Jetta earlier – and he just got home. “[The husband] was asleep and had to be woke up,” the officer wrote. “He had abrasions on him and blood on his arms and legs… [The husband] was incoherent and could not complete a sentence for police. [He] could not recall driving the vehicle home.” The wife said her husband left around 8:45 p.m. to go to a friend’s house and got home around 4 a.m. “She stated he showed up with no keys, no shoes, and that he couldn’t talk.” She asked him what happened, and he said, “Nothing.”  The 36-year-old husband was arrested for reckless driving – he went to Grady Memorial Hospital for observation.  

SASSY SALES PITCH: An undercover officer wrote, “The suspect was standing at the location of 4th and West Peachtree Street, trying to stop cars as they drove through the location. When I stopped at the stop sign, [the suspect] came up to my window and said, ‘Do you want your dick sucked?’ I then told him I was looking for a girl and had never did anything with a guy. [The suspect] then said, ‘I can do it better than any girl,’ and then started moving his lips as if he was sucking an invisible long object and holding it with two hands. The price of the service was $20. I then told him I was nervous and declined the offer and started to drive off. As I started to drive off, the suspect started pulling up his skirt and saying, ‘I had a sex change, look I cut it off.’” The 21-year-old suspect was charged with soliciting sex.  

WORTH A JAIL TRIP?: At Underground Atlanta, a mall security guard reportedly saw a 51-year-old man pull two flowers from a flowerpot – then damage the flowers and toss them aside. Police charged the man with damaging mall property.  

BOLD MOVE OF THE WEEK: A 31-year-old woman said she went to Adair Park and left her car keys in her car – but not in the ignition. While at the park, she said she noticed two men getting into her car. She said she confronted the men and tried to stop them from taking her car. She said she grabbed onto her car — and she was dragged through the parking lot. She said she reached into her car and put it in park and the suspects fled on foot. Apparently, several people from the neighborhood tried to chase the men, but didn’t catch them. The woman had cuts on her feet and legs — and the suspects reportedly kept her car keys. But apparently the woman prevented her car (a 1995 green station wagon) from being stolen.

HANGING ON THE TELEPHONE
: A 52-year-old woman said she got a peculiar phone call at work. The male caller reportedly breathed heavily, moaned and groaned. “The suspect called [the woman] approximately 23 times during the day,” an officer wrote. “[The woman] and other fellow workers managed to get the suspect’s phone number during his moment of pleasure.” They turned the phone number over to police  

STUPID MOVE OF THE WEEK
: At a grocery store on Piedmont Avenue, two men were stopped for allegedly shoplifting Dove soap and deodorant worth $29.98.  One man, age 33, said, “he wanted to leave the keys to his uncle’s vehicle, in which he drove to the store, so his uncle would be able to pick it up,” an officer wrote. Police ran a computer check on the Ford Escalade – turns out, it was reported stolen the day before in Henry County. Police called the owner, who said he reported the car stolen because the 33-year-old man didn’t bring the car back when he was supposed to. The 33-year-old suspect was charged with stealing a car and shoplifting.

BRIDESMAID’S BAD DAY: A 27-year-old North Carolina woman said she went to a salon on Peters Street around 9:30 a.m. to get a beauty treatment for a wedding ceremony. She said she returned to her rental car around 2:30 p.m. — and someone had stolen her tote bag containing undergarments and shoes, plus the car’s GPS. Police arrived, but couldn’t get any fingerprints because it was raining.

ONE-WAY TRAIN TO DUMPSVILLE?: A 41-year-old woman said she went to her boyfriend’s house on Warren Street. (She says they have dated for three years.) She said the boyfriend “was supposed to leave her $30 under a rock in the front yard for her phone bill that was due yesterday. … She said that he didn’t go to work today and was cleaning out the basement when she arrived. She asked for the money and he informed her that she took too long to arrive,” an officer wrote.  The woman said her boyfriend got upset and grabbed her as she walked away. She said she fell on the concrete driveway and scratched her knees — and then her boyfriend took her wallet and cellphone.
    The boyfriend was gone when police arrived. The woman said she didn’t want to prosecute him, she just wanted her stuff back.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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