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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports



PET PEEVES: An officer responded to a 911 hang-up call on Woodland Avenue. A man said when he returned to his apartment around 3 a.m., his door was unlocked and someone had been inside. He said his red parrots were outside his front door, and someone had opened the birdcage, allowing the red parrots to go free. But nothing was missing from his apartment, he said. The man, age 40, smelled strongly of alcohol, the officer noted.

Later the same day, another officer responded to a call from the same apartment on Woodland Avenue. The 40-year-old man said when he returned to his apartment later, his tank of pet fish had been thrown on the ground. (Five pet fish were dead, the officer noted.). Also, the man said, another birdcage was broken, releasing two finch birds inside. (The finches apparently flew away, according to the police report.) The man kept his fish tank and birdcages on his patio. The man said he suspects the owners of his apartment complex are trying to intimidate him -- because he reported dangerous mold at his former apartment complex, which is owned by the same company.

1+1=4? An undercover officer was working a vice operation at the intersection of North and Westlake avenues. A woman allegedly got into his car and offered to give him oral sex for $25 or sex for $50. Also, she allegedly offered to perform both acts for $40. (The Blotter Diva ain't no math whiz, but let's add this up: Apparently her price for sex + oral sex is lower than her price for just sex.) Her business approach may be even more uncommon. The officer wrote: "[The woman] went on to state that if I did not like it, then I could have my money back." She was arrested for soliciting sex. (The Blotter Diva cannot recall -- in the entire history of the Blotter -- any other alleged hooker offering to return the fee, if the customer didn't like, um, it.)

ELECTION TENSIONS: A woman said she went out to do some errands, and when she returned to her home on Courtenay Drive, she smelled something burning. She said her campaign sign for Senator John McCain was burned in the front yard along with a small patch of grass. The woman said she gets along with all her neighbors, but she is the only one on her block with a McCain sign. Also, she has surveillance cameras pointing at her front yard, and the tapes show a man in a light shirt and dark cargo pants walking by her home -- but it does not show anyone actually setting her McCain sign on fire.

ELECTION TENSIONS, PART II: One Saturday morning, a 66-year-old woman went to her car, parked outside her home on Blue Ridge Avenue. She found a note underneath her windshield wiper. The note read: "Fuck the Human Race, liberal douche. Fuck [the n-word]." The 66-year-old woman is not African-American. She said she didn't know who wrote the note, or why someone would put the note on her car.

FREEWHEELING: A security guard said a 60-year-old man was completely naked and riding around in his wheelchair at an apartment complex on North Avenue. An officer wrote, "The male was partially clothed upon my arrival." The man was arrested for indecent exposure.

FREE GAS! A gas-station manager overheard a man asking other people if they wanted free gas from the pumps. The manager said he watched as the man and another guy used a credit card to buy gas for several people in their cars. The manager said he got the man's ID and called police. The manager said he questioned the man about the credit card he was using, and the man grabbed a black bag from his car and tossed it in a Dumpster. When officers arrived, they examined the black bag. It contained a woman's passport, her checkbook, and her ID cards. Turns out, someone broke into the woman's car a few minutes earlier on Park Avenue.

Police contacted the woman, who confirmed that her black bag was stolen. She called her bank, and found out that her ATM card and her credit card were used that morning at the gas station on Ralph David Abernathy Boulevard. Police arrested the two suspects and took them to jail. "It is unknown at this time how much fraudulent gas was obtained," the officer wrote.

FREE GAS, PART II: At the same gas station, 17 days beforehand, the owner reported that an unknown man used a crow bar to damage the gas pumps, which enabled the suspect to get gas without paying. The owner said the man filled several cars' tanks with gas, and the man left on foot.

BREAKUP SHAKEUP: A 27-year-old man said he and his wife, and his ex-girlfriend went to Fulton County Divorce Court. The man said they all left the court -- because he and his wife decided not to get divorced -- and all three returned to his apartment on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. Apparently, the ex-girlfriend was upset about the turn of events. The man said the ex-girlfriend swore at his wife -- and slapped him across the face. So the man called police. The 29-year-old ex-girlfriend left before officers arrived.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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