Best bizarro news story

Ban on human microchipping

Staff Pick

In saner states, legislative hearings to address the problem of involuntary implantation of microchips would easily score as the year's weirdest news story. But in Georgia, where the General Assembly also passed a bill allowing motorists to keep and eat their roadkill, the proposed BAN ON HUMAN MICROCHIPPING needed a little something extra. As luck would have it, that came in the form of a DeKalb County woman invited to testify to a Senate committee about how "researchers with the federal government" implanted a microchip in her "vaginal-rectum area." The microchip, she said, is activated by phone, like a beeper, with the number displayed "on billboards throughout the city." Naturally, the committee OK'd the bill.

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