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A man said he was sleeping in his bedroom when he heard a "loud boom." He woke up and realized he had shot himself in his left hand. The man said every night he sleeps with his Ruger .40 caliber pistol under his pillow. Bleeding from the bullet wound, the man asked a neighbor to drive him to Grady Memorial Hospital. The man's hand injury isn't life-threatening and he's going to be just fine. Wounded pride? That's another story. The 35-year-old man lives alone in the West End. At the hospital, he told the cops he left the gun at home, snuggled under his pillow.

RUB IT IN: A Lawrenceville man who has been separated from his wife for about two years just now got around to filing for divorce. Promptly, the wife showed up at her husband's place of work — a local foot massage parlor. The wife walked in and requested a foot massage from a female employee (who just happens to be the husband's new girlfriend). The girlfriend didn't recognize the wife, so she proceeded to rub her feet. The wife flipped out, started cursing, and accused the girlfriend of cheating with her husband. Also, the wife whipped out her cell phone and snapped photos of the girlfriend. Her husband walked up and asked her to leave but she refused, so he convinced her to step outside with him. Once they were out of the massage parlor, the wife reared back, slapped her husband across the face, and then she left.

When police arrived, the husband said he wasn't interested in pressing charges against his wife because of their children. However, his girlfriend said she is now afraid of the wife, so an officer explained how she could get a restraining order.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: Two undercover police officers used $150.68 worth of city money to rent two separate rooms at a motel on Cheshire Bridge Road. Then, they hung out near the front of the motel. A 33-year-old woman walked up and asked if they were looking for girls and how much money they had. One cop said he had $40. That's fine, plenty of money for sex, the woman replied. The cop had another request: He asked if his friend (the other cop) could watch them have sex. That'll cost an extra $20, the woman replied. She went to jail on a prostitution charge.

HIGH TIMES: Two days later, uniformed cops scoped out the same motel on Cheshire Bridge Road, where they spotted a man in a black hat walking around the parking lot. The officers asked the man to stop for a chat. He said sure, he's staying at the motel. One officer said the man reeked of marijuana. "He said that I was probably smelling a small marijuana roach that he left in his pocket from earlier," the officer noted. The officer asked the man to take the marijuana roach out of his pocket and show it to him. The man complied and handed over the marijuana roach. Promptly, the officer arrested him for drug possession.

During a search, police found a small baggie of a "white crystallized substance" in the man's backpack. The man said it was "sex candy." However, the white stuff tested positive as methamphetamine.

SUGAR DADDY SPAT: In Adair Park, a 21-year-old woman said she was having sexual intercourse with a 53-year-old man when he suddenly started yelling at her and trying to fight her. (Interesting technique.) Cops arrived to sort things out. The woman said he pulled out some of her hair during the spat. Also, the woman told police that she's not in a relationship with the older man, he just helps her out.

The man said the woman actually started the fight. He said she's upset because he gave another little boy in the area a basketball. (The woman has a 2-year-old son — a little young for basketball.) Also, the sugar daddy's house was a mess. "I walked around the house and observed pots and pans on the floor," the officer wrote. Both the man and woman went to jail on disorderly conduct charges.

BACK OFF, BITCH: A middle-aged man walked over to his girlfriend's house on Mobile Street and they started arguing, but no one remembers what started the fight. Midway through the argument, his 56-year-old girlfriend asked him to go buy her some beer from the store. When he returned, he says his girlfriend chugged a beer and they started bickering again. Then she bit him on the back for no apparent reason, so the man called 911. An officer noted, "The bite didn't break the skin, but it did leave a mark." Police took the girlfriend to jail on simple battery charges.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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