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All in the family

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Around 3 a.m., police tracked a black Mercedes going 106 mph on I-85. When cops stopped the car, the driver, a 29-year-old woman from Norcross, reached to her driver's side window, removed a Fraternal Order of Police sticker, and stuck it on the windshield.

"I found that rather bizarre and unusual and assumed it was done to make sure that I 'noticed' the sticker," the officer wrote. The woman got out of her car and said she came from a police family. Also, the woman said she was a waitress at a strip club and she was driving fast because someone was following her.

"I asked her about the 'Fraternal Order of Police' sticker and she indicated that it means she 'is more aware.' I asked her 'More aware of what?' — and she alluded to race issues, 'as far as black and white,'" the officer wrote. "I assured her that at 106 mph I had no idea what race she was — and she acknowledged this as being reasonable."

Later, the woman said her father, grandfather, sister, uncle, and maybe others were members of Oklahoma law enforcement. The woman tried to dodge a Breathalyzer test by saying she'd chewed gum earlier at the strip club. She said at the strip club, they often have her blow on a practice Breathalyzer after chewing gum and the machine shows .08, but if you wait 10 minutes or so, it returns to normal.

She was also armed to the hilt. Inside her car, police found two pairs of brass knuckles, "a folding and rather lengthy" knife, and a loaded semi-automatic gun with "GI Expert" inscribed on the barrel. (The gun had been reported stolen in DeKalb County.) After many calls, the cop deduced that the woman had actually reported her own gun stolen at a Walmart and never called back to say her gun was found — or perhaps it was never stolen in the first place. The woman went to jail on multiple charges.

DUMPED ON: A 54-year-old man said he found feces on the windshield of his black Lincoln Town Car that was parked outside of his new Buckhead apartment. He said he reported the feces incident to the apartment managers, who told him to call police. The man said he just moved into the complex and there's "no problems" with his neighbors. "He advised the incident may be a hate crime," an officer wrote. On the police report, the man's race is listed as white.

BAD CALL: In Old Fourth Ward, a 42-year-old man said "Low Rider" keeps calling him and threatening to beat up his family. The man has no idea who Low Rider might be or why he keeps calling his house on Irwin Street. The man said he changed his phone number, but Low Rider keeps calling with his weird comments.

CRUDE DUDE: In Cabbagetown, a man said he's getting harassing text messages and images of "a penis, vagina and feces in a toilet," according to the police report. He says he knows the guy sending the messages and he wants a restraining order.

SWEET REPEAT: In Orchard Knob neighborhood, a woman said she didn't realize her back door had been kicked in until her dog leaned on it and the door fell over. All three of her daughters' bedrooms had been ransacked. Absolutely nothing was missing from the two youngest daughters' bedrooms. But apparently, the intruders stopped to eat a bag of cookies in her oldest daughter's bedroom. Cookies — that's the only thing reported stolen. The woman said her house was broken into twice recently (in May and June) and previous thieves took everything she owned that's of any value whatsoever. She says there's just nothing left that thieves might want.

LABOR CLASH: In Kirkwood, a 26-year-old woman got a text message saying, "You don't know me but you best take your ass back to North Carolina, with all that bullshit before you end up dead, you big forehead hoe, you gone be found at Carver dead. Keep playing, oh, I know you are fucking the bus driver, you best stop it before it get back downtown to your main office or I'm going to contact your manager and let her know you stealing and using her credit card for unauthorized purchases."

The 26-year-old woman believes a female employee sent her the message. The woman said earlier that day, she transferred the same employee to another location for not getting along with the supervisor (in other words, her). They both work at a nonprofit youth center.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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